


Still Here

by Useless_girl



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Angst, Consensual Underage Sex, Daddy Issues, Dark, Depression, Fantasy, First Time, Gay Sex, Guilt, Hidden Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Light daddy kink, M/M, MCU canon and non-canon, Nightmares, PTSD, Post-Endgame, R (explicit), Rimming, Romance, Rough Sex, Slash, Slow Burn, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, a little aged up Peter but still underage, age gap, blowjob, m/m - Freeform, some (kinda manly) fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-02-28 15:09:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_girl/pseuds/Useless_girl
Summary: !!! MAJOR SPOILERS ALERT !!! (You've been warned!)After defeating Thanos and putting the universe back into order, nothing was the same. The aftermath of those events took a toll on the whole world. Especially on the heroes who saved the day once again. Tony Stark seems to struggle the most, but maybe a new project and the help of Peter Parker could be the ray of hope needed to heal and finally win the battle over his darker side.





	1. Only one way?

**Note:** Obviously _Avengers: Endgame_ had a deep effect on me too. While I loved the movie as it was very good, it also left my heart broken. Though the movie definitely helped to give me the last kick to finally write my very first Starker fanfiction in the MCU. In the last few weeks this pairing became a favorite and after reading a few good stories with them (thank you all for the inspiration!), I’ve been throwing around some ideas in my head. This is the result. Hope you’ll enjoy it.

**Note 2:** There will be some non-canon stuff and changes to the post-Endgame timeline (2023) for the story’s purpose. **MAJOR SPOILERS** **ALERT!!!**

**Recommended songs:** “[Still Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD9RqOevOpw)” and “[In Flames](https://youtu.be/w22Bf7bLdxU)” by _Digital Daggers_ (It’s quite amusing to me how their songs keep coming back to inspire Marvel stories in me :D)

**Fandom:** Iron Man, Spider-Man, MCU

**Characters/pairing:** Tony Stark/Peter Parker, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts, Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Morgan Stark, Bruce Banner, James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Shuri, T’Challa, Aunt May, Scott Lang, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, a bunch of other characters mentioned

**Rating/category:** R (explicit), fantasy, MCU canon and non-canon, post-Endgame, supernatural, slash, M/M, romance, slow burn, hurt/comfort, dark, angst, depression, alcohol abuse, PTSD, nightmares, age gap, guilt, a little aged up Peter but still underage, some (kinda manly) fluff, consensual underage sex, first time, smut, blowjob, rimming, gay sex, rough sex, daddy issues, light daddy kink, light Dom/sub, light BDSM, hidden relationship

**Summary:** After defeating Thanos and putting the universe back into order, nothing was the same. The aftermath of those events took a toll on the whole world. Especially on the heroes who saved the day once again. Tony Stark seems to struggle the most, but maybe a new project and the help of Peter Parker could be the ray of hope needed to heal and finally win the battle over his darker side.

**Disclaimer:** This is a product of my imagination and was written only for entertainment and fun. I don’t profit from this fanfiction and I mean no harm or disrespect against any real person, culture or custom that might appear in the story. All original pictures used in the story belong to their respective owners and credits go to them.

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[Full sized pic](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/b0276b76-4182-455a-abee-f06f5760e88c/dd6gm3u-302a6430-ce59-447d-82df-bf37367f645e.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2IwMjc2Yjc2LTQxODItNDU1YS1hYmVlLWYwNmY1NzYwZTg4Y1wvZGQ2Z20zdS0zMDJhNjQzMC1jZTU5LTQ0N2QtODJkZi1iZjM3MzY3ZjY0NWUuanBnIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.F9pHigHQaJo01vAlFiQ9js5LTvBNTG9cQ68JB-BVO5I)

**Still Here  
** _By Useless-girl_

  **Chapter 1  
** **Only one way?**

Dr. Strange said there was only one future where they could stop Thanos. Only one way to right the wrong he did to the universe with a single snap of his fingers. Only one way to bring back half of the Avengers and billions of people that ceased to exist after that snap. Only one way to bring back the kid…

Five years from that fateful day another even more important one came. The last battle against Thanos. The “Endgame,” as Dr. Strange once called it too. And as Tony Stark’s eyes met the wizard’s in the middle of that battle, he watched him raise his index-finger. It meant that there was _only one way_ … or it could mean for Tony to _wait for it_ … Suddenly he could feel his heartbeats deafening him and it had nothing to do with the explosions all around them or the pure adrenaline that was coursing through their veins.

It was the weight of that single moment that would determine if they succeed or fail again…

Tony was ready to get into action. Get up and grab the gauntlet with the Infinity Stones in it and undo the Snap with some witty comment like “I am Iron Man”.

But for a heartbeat longer something in Strange’s eyes kept him where he was. That moment was enough for Carol to reappear like a brilliant beacon in the darkness – just like how Tony first saw her dying on that goddamned spaceship.

It was Captain Marvel who took that cursed gauntlet. Not Iron Man. It was Carol who re-snapped half of the universe into existence in exchange of making Thanos and his armies turn into dust. Not Tony.

She was the hero who saved the day.

And it was alright that way.

In the end Carol proved to be the strongest among them all. Her powers from the Space Stone protected her and she survived with some minor injuries and burns.

Tony couldn’t believe it was over. That they finally managed to save the universe. None of them could comprehend it in those first few minutes.

His mind was still numb as the crying kid dropped to his knees in front of him and hugged him tight again yelling that they had won, Pepper following him a minute later. Tony’s eyes were still wide as he focused on his breathing, hugging back both of them, looking at their tear-stained relieved faces in shock.

They survived. _They won_.

It took him much longer to accept that fact than for the others.

***

Many, many things have changed since that victorious day. It opened the path for a new future for humankind. Which would have not been possible without the help of the Avengers and everyone who helped in that final battle. That fact was finally recognized by the United Nations too and while the whole world tried to recover from the past events, some new negotiations have started regarding the Sokovia Accords. It would take a lot of time to iron out every detail, but at least now the UN was open to those changes. And perhaps there was a chance that in the end they would abolish it all together after what went down on a global scale very recently.

People were overjoyed to welcome their lost ones back after such a long time, but it was hard for both them and for the returning people to deal with the changes of this new world. For example, they had to come to terms and cope with the fact that while they were gone, five years have passed on Earth. For them it only felt like taking a nap in the nothingness that followed Thanos’ snap. To help these individuals, many help groups and organizations were formed, although as it soon turned out, in their greed some soon tried to exploit this opportunity to earn more money for themselves. Eliminating these frauds also kept the police quite busy.

But there are things that never seem to change, no matter what happens. Like the nightmares and panic attacks that plagued Tony Stark once again.

They have started right after the final battle and they were very much like the ones Tony got after the Battle of New York City. The nightmares just got more vivid and more scenes got added to the repertoire. For a while the panic attacks became more severe and frequent too.

He felt sorry for Pepper and even their daughter Morgan who sadly had to witness some of those. But it seemed Tony’s mind just couldn’t cope with all the additional stress these events have put on his body. He was in his early fifties by now, for god’s sake, and lived through so many things which would be too much for three men as well.

He felt tired. Burned out and older than ever before. For some reason, even after months, he couldn’t quite shake that feeling off. In the past Pepper’s presence usually helped and now Morgan was there too. But Tony didn’t want their daughter to see him so broken. He wanted to protect both of them from witnessing how he would spiral down into his PTSD and depression again. Because he knew that was going to happen.

That’s why – like every time in the past – he buried himself in his work. Going for days with very little sleep. Because every time he closed his eyes, he saw some horrors from his past. Like a detailed and realistic movie series. Tragedy on top of another tragedy.

Being tortured in Afghanistan… Before his death Yinsen telling him not to waste his life... Pepper falling into her fiery death because he couldn’t catch her… Not making back to Earth after taking the nuke into space from New York… The footage about the death of his parents… Fighting to the death with Steve… Suffocating in space… Losing everyone… Watching the kid turn into dust in his arms…

That right there was probably the most powerful nightmare for some reason. It always made him wake up with a scream, drenched in cold sweat, eyes bewildered and searching, chest too tight and feeling like suffocating.

It was his biggest failure. That promise he broke cut the deepest. He couldn’t keep him safe. He failed the kid. He _died_ right in his arms.

No matter how many times Tony kept reminding himself that Peter was back and well, his subconscious mind just didn’t seem to get it and stuck with that memory the most. It became his most frequent nightmare.

Because of that he often checked in with the kid. Sometimes via text messages, e-mails, phone calls or even spying on him through the Spider suit. He always tried to persuade himself that it wasn’t spying or obsessing over him. It was just to make sure he was safe and okay, given the circumstances.

Even if he missed him, he kept his distance to also keep his… inappropriate feelings at bay.

Though he distanced himself not just from Peter but seemingly everyone else around him. He was still good at that at least. He found his excuses for that too, like always.

First it was perfecting the suit he made for Pepper. Then designing and building new suits like after New York. After that he busied himself with overseeing the rebuilding of the Avengers compound, although after each time he visited the devastated site, his night terrors got worse.

In the last few months not even the meetings with the team seemed to help on him. Sure, they shared many experiences that kept haunting Tony and most of them believed that talking them out would help get past them eventually. Or sometimes they just drank and joked around once most of them felt better and eased up. But not Tony. He put on a smile and a few jokes here and there, but his eyes stayed closed off and serious. He also was quieter more than ever before as he simply observed in silence from a corner with his drink in one hand.

Sometimes he also sat down with the lawyers of the Avengers team to talk about the changes they wanted to put into the Sokovia Accords. From that he remembered a promise he had made for Wanda and in the back of his mind he kept trying to figure out how to make good of that promise.

These reasons were just the tip of the ice-berg he busied his mind with. No wonder his absences from home stretched longer and it understandably put a strain on his marriage. Pepper tried to be supportive while co-running Stark Industries with her successor and balancing being a business woman and a mother at the same time. Tony felt bad that he put so much on her and didn’t help her much in that state of mind.

Though he made sure other trusted people helped her out in any way they could. Like Happy. The company was running smoothly again. It was Tony’s idea to create more funds to help clean up the mess Thanos’ actions have left behind, even rebuilding or renovating some homes that became uninhabitable in the long absence of their owners. Like always, he tried to help on some, even if he had learned the hard way that he could definitely not save everyone…

Still, he knew he was on the self-sabotaging path again. He was simply being Tony Stark once more, he realized with a bitter smirk. Nothing good lasts forever, right? Happy even reminded him on how Pepper and Morgan were the best things that have ever happened to Tony. He agreed. But he was ruining it again… But… he just couldn’t… be around them. See the fear in his daughter’s eyes or the pity in Pepper’s.

That fight between them was… bad.

“But Tony, you’ve been away so much already!” Pepper raised her voice. “We miss you. Morgan doesn’t understand what’s going on…”

Tony ran a hand through his hair, making it look even messier than it was. The grey at his temples got more visible in the last few months and he could use a haircut. He felt so tired and not ready for this conversation. His eyes stayed sad and cold as he looked away. “I promised Wanda.”

“You promised to stay with us too. Yet you went to save the world again. I got that. I helped too because there was much at stake. But this is different, Tony. Your daughter barely sees you. And the video chat calls don’t cut it. She wants you to be there for real. I want you to be here for real too, but you are making this very difficult for me too… I have to keep our daughter’s best interest in front of me. This is certainly not that!” she nearly shouted, getting angrier by the moment.

Tony rarely saw Pepper like this. So he stayed silent, his fingertips sliding back and forth on the shiny marble surface of the kitchen isle where he was standing. She was right, of course.

“You are right. And I want you to _always_ put her first. Even if I’m fucking up. I know I am. But I need to be away for a while,” he finally looked at his wife, nearly begging for her to understand. He knew he was asking for too much, but couldn’t help it.

“Tony…” she started then took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Tony, you know that I love you. I know you better than most. I can see that you are going through a hard time. I tried to be supportive and patient. But… I can’t… Look… we both know that I’m strong. But not _this_ strong. I have my limits too and it breaks my heart seeing you like this and having to explain Morgan repeatedly why you cannot come home yet… Think of her…”

“I am. _Always_. And I don’t want her or you, for that matter, to see me like this. I also don’t want her to see us fighting. I have to… be on my own for a while. To deal with this.”

“Seek out help, Tony. There are some specialists who could…”

“No! No. I don’t want their help. They know jack shit about what really went down and I was never comfortable to open up to total strangers. I have my ways to cope with things. You know that. I _need_ to work.”

“It’s still always you, you, you. I can’t believe it. I thought… that you’ve changed.”

“I did,” Tony said with a wry smile. “Apparently not for the better.”

A heavy silence fell on them as they were staring at each other from the opposite sides of the kitchen isle. Like the symbol of the wedge Tony has managed to put between them.

“So… what are you saying?” Pepper asked very quietly and somehow dangerously calm. As if she knew what her husband was going to say. She probably did. She usually did.

“I think taking a break might be good at this point. Let me deal with this in my own way. Then if you still love me, we could talk about letting me crawl back and beg for your forgiveness…” he half-joked, but it was dead serious and Pepper didn’t find it funny either.

Still, in the end, as if she was tired of this too, she simply nodded.

It broke Tony’s heart, but he thanked her and went to get Morgan from the kindergarten. That night he slept like for an hour in their guest room before he ended up just watching as their daughter was sleeping soundly. His tired mind burdened with heavy and dark thoughts.


	2. Losing my grip in the grey

**Chapter 2  
** **“Losing my grip in the grey”**

That’s how Tony first ended up in Wakanda with T’Challa’s permission. He didn’t go to become best buddies with the king, but to ask for his – or more like his sister Shuri’s – help to make good on his word to Wanda.

“So you are saying that you want to bring back Vision?” she asked as they were sitting in her lab with his brother listening to the conversation.

“Yes, your highness,” Tony nodded seriously. “I think it is possible with your help,” he glimpsed at the king too before looking back at her.

“What do you have in mind?” she asked, clearly intrigued by the challenge this would mean. Everyone knew that she was the science expert in the kingdom. It always made it easier for Tony to converse with her. So to say, science seemed to be the common language they spoke more fluently than even English. Tony could say pretty much the same about him and the kid too…

“My basic idea came from knowing that during the battle here in Wakanda you tried to separate Vision’s mind from the Soul Stone. Given the time, I have no doubt you would have succeeded,” he nodded towards her, acknowledging her skills and expertise as he knew it was a complicated and delicate process. Especially doing it during a battle quite literally outside the lab’s windows.

She gave him a small smile accepting the compliment and waved with a hand for Tony to continue.

“As I understand, the process wasn’t complete as the fight interrupted you too. But I doubt you haven’t saved and stored safely what you managed to finish with,” Tony raised a brow questioningly. With that technology at her fingertips he would be very disappointed if she failed to do so.

“You _dabble_ in science too, Tony. So you know that only beginners would do that mistake,” she chuckled with a coy expression. “Of course I have the data stored. And you want it for what?” she put two and two together.

“Obviously to bring Vision back,” he shrugged, only smiling on her previous funny comment.

“But… even if you made a new body for him, he wouldn’t be the same Vision with an unfinished mind and missing memories and whatever emotions attached to those,” she frowned, but it was clear that her mind was already running a mile a minute.

“True. But it would be a start and we could consult about the details and possible solutions to these problems. How much of his… mind did you manage to separate from the stone?”

“Hmm… Intriguing theory. I think it might be around 80%. We could come up with some way to make up for the missing 20%. Even if we cannot manage, the new Vision would come pretty close to the old one. Minus the powers of the Stone, of course. The rest… he could re-learn.”

“Worst case scenario that’s the idea, yes. This is for our friend Wanda, not to save the world. I’m planning on involving Bruce in the project and maybe even Peter… ya know, Spider-Man.”

“Oh yes! He’s cute,” she giggled “and as I heard clever too. I’m pleased to hear he’s back too. I’d love to work with him too in the future.”

“Yes. A brilliant young mind. I see a bright future ahead of him both on the scientific field and in crime fighting,” Tony nodded with a small fond smile on his face. He didn’t even notice it or the kind of fatherly pride glistening in his eyes behind his smart glasses.

“You seem to be quite fond of him,” Shuri mused.

“Of course. I’m something like a mentor to him,” Tony shrugged it off with that, putting on a neutral face again.

“Alright. I’m interested in this new project of yours. What do you think, my brother?” she turned to T’Challa questioningly.

The king stayed silent for a moment, examining both the situation and the princess’ expression. For him it was obvious that she already made up her mind and saying no at this point would be futile. “It’s worth a try if we can help bring back Vision. But what guarantees that he wouldn’t turn out like… Ultron? As I know, he was your creation too. The Soul Stone is back in the past where it belongs so using it is out of the question.”

“Ultron was a mistake, yes. But we are talking about Vision. He was based on Jarvis’ AI, which overwrote Ultron completely. There are no traces of Ultron in what’s left of Vision’s mind,” he said and looked at Shuri again for confirmation.

“That is true, brother. I had some time to briefly analyze Vision’s mind and it was pure… well, Vision. We could work with that material safely,” she rolled her eyes as if she was explaining science to a five year old.

“Alright, alright. You are the scientists,” T’Challa held up his hands in defeat, flashing a brief white smile at both of them, making the little gathering chuckle.

“So. Is this a yes, your highness? Will you help us?” Tony raised a questioning brow.

Once Shuri got a small nod from her brother, she smiled brightly (and kinda excited) at Tony. “With pleasure. When and where do you want to start?”

“I was thinking of going back to NYC. I have another secluded estate… or you can call it a ‘safe house’ there with a fully equipped lab. We could consult through a safe channel what steps we should take. And I would start as soon as I get there.”

“Sounds good to me,” the princess nodded then stood up to go to her work station. “Come, I’ll show you what I have of his mind… I also have a few new gadgets you could use for your project,” she invited Tony, who quickly tossed back the rest of his whiskey and did just that, a bit more relaxed that the first phase of his plan was done.

***

Tony had his wish. He was working day and night again, often ignoring Friday’s reminders just how long he hasn’t slept. Living on energy bars, cheeseburgers and at times whiskey when he got stuck or just needed a break.

But most of the time he cut back on the alcohol as it a) never seemed to solve his problems, b) it slowed down his work. Although being holed up in that remote estate seemed to help a bit on him, the nightmares stayed so he slept as little as he could. It was taking a toll on him, but it was still better than reliving the horrors of his past again and again.

Occasionally he communicated with the other Avengers, but only his talks with Peter or Morgan could put a smile on his face. Banner dropped by a few times and they consulted with Shuri too. His friend wasn’t stupid, he saw how messed up (and obsessed) Tony was. A few times he managed to drag his friend away from his work, but once or twice the half-Hulk, half-human Bruce had to avoid some flying objects and let Tony kinda kick him out of the lab for a few days.

Peter has promised to think about possible solutions for transferring Wanda’s memories into the new body Tony was working on, but the billionaire still had to hear back from him. Not that Tony blamed the kid. He had a lot on his plate at the moment. Dealing with aunt May’s overflowing (and frankly sometimes suffocating) gestures of love, reconnecting with his friends, coping with the five years he had suddenly lost and yes, going back to school to graduate early… So Tony let him be for now. That part would come later in the project anyway…

Still, like now when he was tired to the bone, he sometimes found himself simply staring at the hologram of Vision’s neuron map in the air, replaying the last time he saw the kid. It was a couple of months back on his surprise birthday party. The memory always put a silly smile on Mr. Stark’s face.

  
[Source](https://www.fourchimneys.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/FourChimneys-night-gallery.jpg)

It was really a team effort including May, Ned, MJ and the Avengers. Under the pretense of going on a road trip with May and his two friends, they quite literally kidnapped Peter. The kid still had no idea even when they pulled into the parking lot of the inn May said they would stay at. Of course, the whole house was rented out for the weekend by Tony.

The overwhelming surprise and happiness on Peter’s face as his friends and family shouted “Surprise!” in the decorated common room made the older man’s heart leap and it also probably mended his ragged soul a little bit. Peter was over the moon and clearly very, very excited about his surprise party as he never had one like this before.

Most of the surviving Avengers could make it – except for Thor and the Guardians who were off to their new journeys, just like Carol who went back to help the restored universe once she healed up after Thanos’ defeat. T’Challa and his sister were home in Wakanda but could be present for a while through a video call projected out in the air. Then there was Bucky on the aged Steve’s side, Sam the new Captain America having some very patriotic discussion with Rhodey. Scott quickly found the tone with MJ and Ned while May acted like the host, making sure everyone was comfortable. Wanda was quietly and a bit nervously talking with Bruce about the project. Even Clint stopped by for a few drinks before returning to his family. They were all missing Natasha, but losing his best friend was especially hard on him (and Bruce), so it was understandable.

Tony has noticed that after the surprise Peter wiped away a few tears too, feeling moved and he just wouldn’t shut up about how happy and grateful he was for this gift. Being with the people he loved. Everyone got their turn for the kid’s hug – even MJ, Bucky and Sam – and when it was Tony’s turn, he might have buried his nose into the unruly hair with closed eyes to inhale Peter’s familiar scent. It made him relax and it lifted his mood a bit. The kid was happy and well and barely wanted to let him go. That’s all that counted to him.

_“I know it’s your doing… Thank you, Mr. Stark… Tony…”_

Those whispered words kept echoing in his mind ever since. And he held onto them in his darkest moments like an anchor to ground him. The way Peter whispered his name at the end made something move in him deep down. Something that wasn’t supposed to be there, but if he wanted to be honest with himself, it’s been there for quite some time…

Everyone put some thought into their gifts and although Dr. Strange couldn’t be there either, at one point, he opened a yellow circular portal and a mysterious book with a note dropped onto the table in front of Peter, making him exclaim “So cool!” and the others laugh.

Watching Peter from a corner while sipping on his drink, Tony thought it was like watching a little boy on Christmas day unwrapping his gifts. Except that Peter was no kid anymore. It showed on his stance, his way of speaking, but most of all in his eyes. He had the wise look of those people who went through a lot during their lives. Tony thought it strangely suited the young man.

He had another present for him too, but he waited to give it to the kid until they were alone on the back terrace while the others were chatting and laughing and playing pool inside.

“This is just perfect. Thank you again,” Peter said softly as they were sitting next to each other on a comfortable couch, the porch lights dim around them, making that night even more magical.

“What makes you think it was my doing? We all love you,” Tony asked a bit amused and tipsy. He preferred his scotch rather than eating that night.

That earned himself another one of those radiant smiles and maybe even a faint blush, he couldn’t tell from the shadows playing on the young face. That look seemed to be somehow… knowing as the silence stretched between them. But neither of them minded.

“I didn’t even give my gift to you yet,” Mr. Stark finally said after a while. “Aren’t you curious?” he turned a bit more towards Peter, taking a sip from his drink again.

“I thought… and I didn’t expect… Never mind. Of course I am curious, Mr. Stark,” he said quietly, that small smile turning nearly shy. It was killing Tony.

“As I understand you plan on graduating early. Why is that? I thought you might want to enjoy your remaining time in high school with your friends.”

That smile made a quick disappearance and Tony blamed himself for it.

“You know, sir… It’s a bit complicated…” Peter tried to collect his thoughts then decided to go with the simplest explanation – without overthinking. Blurting out unfiltered what was on his mind was one of the characteristics in Peter that Tony loved. He often did that too – especially in his younger years. “But in a nutshell… I cannot seem to be able to find my place ever since the Snap and winning over Thanos. I just… don’t fit in my old life anymore. The fact that some of my old classmates already graduated isn’t helping either. But I’m trying… mostly for May’s sake so she wouldn’t worry… But it’s…”

“… a lot to deal with, yeah. For everyone,” Tony finished the thought knowingly.

“So it does make sense to you, Mr. Stark?” Peter perked up, clearly in hopes that someone would finally understand what he was feeling.

“Perfect sense. To me it seems…” he eyed Peter a tad bit longer “that you haven’t talked about this with anyone. Why?”

“I was afraid they wouldn’t get it. But you do. And that’s enough for me,” Peter said quickly then blushed again as he looked away.

_Damn, this kid is something else_ , Tony thought as that suppressed darkness wanted to unfurl in his belly thanks to that sight and implication that only Tony’s opinion mattered to Peter.

“I see…” he finally said and even went as far as putting a reassuring hand on the kid’s knee. He felt how it made the muscles tense then relax under the unexpected touch. Before that battle, Tony limited their physical contact to the minimum, but Peter turning into dust in his arms has changed everything for Tony. He couldn’t help himself and aside from those two hugs during the final battle, he sneaked in a few touches since. Just to make sure Peter was really there. That this was reality and not a dream.

“In that case you might like my present. Once you graduate, I would like you to come work for me at Stark Industries. You are very intelligent and more than qualified already for such a job. You’ve proven yourself many times in the past. It would be a position of your choice and a life-long job offer. We could iron out the details later. I need such young brilliant minds like you, Peter.” _I need you around_ , he thought deep down. “What do you say?”

To say that Peter was shocked was an understatement. His brown eyes went wide and even his mouth hanged open a bit from the utter shock. “That… that would be a dream come true, Mr. Stark!” he exclaimed once he collected himself. “Thank you so much, sir! It’s the best present like… ever!” he added.

The next moment Tony found his arms full of the kid, who buried his face into his neck, trembling with poorly suppressed emotions. The older man barely managed not to slosh his remaining drink on them from the impact, but once both the liquid and Tony himself settled a bit, he awkwardly put his arms around the smaller yet so much stronger body. He exhaled long and relieved. Peter accepted and called his gift the best… That put a content smile on Tony’s face as he gently patted Peter’s back. It was so… nice to have the kid in his arms like that for a little while longer. Even if Tony knew he would beat himself up for it later.

“I take this as a yes…” he chuckled a bit hoarsely, willing his body back under control as he pulled his arms back, indicating that it was time for the hug to end.

Peter picked the signs up and did straighten his back, but still stayed much closer to him than necessary. As Tony looked into his blushing face and happy eyes, he saw a few smeared teardrops too. His fingers were itching to wipe them off, but he didn’t. Instead he simply admired the moved beautiful boy give him another radiant smile.

“It’s a big fat yes, sir. Thank you so much!”

“Don’t mention it, kid. Though I’m happy you accepted. Speaking of this job. I want to already involve you in a project I’m doing with Bruce. Care to hear the details?”

To Peter’s eager nodding, that’s how Tony made Peter Parker part of the ‘New Vision Project’, as the kid called it.


	3. I feel you slipping away

**Chapter 3  
** **“I feel you slipping away”**

 

Going back to one’s normal life after such important tasks like saving the world was a tough thing to do. Just like for many, the situation was confusing and unsettling for Peter Parker too. Going back to school to learn and meet his friends again felt… surreal. Ever since he was snapped back into existence by Captain Marvel, everything seemed… off to him. In the first few days while aunt May kept hugging him and trying to involve him in some deep soul-searching talks, Peter wondered if this was real and not just a vision or an alternate universe.

He grew up on comic books and also read a lot about such theories, so it was not a new concept to him. All the fighting and he Infinity Stones and space and dying… It put a strain on his mind too. He has changed a lot in a very short time.

_“Mr. Stark… I don’t feel so good…” he staggered._

_“You’re alright,” he heard the man’s voice which tried to hide his worry._

_“I-I don’t know what’s happening… I don’t know what’s happening. I…” he stumbled into Mr. Stark’s arms, holding on tight. “I don’t wanna go! I don’t wanna go, sir… Please!” he kept babbling until Mr. Stark laid him down on the ground. He met the painful desperate look in the older man’s eyes and whispered “I’m sorry…”_

Then everything turned black.

His “Spidey senses” weren’t tingling anymore, he stopped feeling that impending threat that wanted to spur him to flee for his life… Because he had no life anymore.

Just cold dark nothingness.

Silence.

The present day Peter woke with a painful “ouch” as he fell flat on his face from the ceiling where his body jumped up from the “threat” and stuck there while he was dreaming.

With a sigh he sat up and looked around. He was back in Queens in his familiar room at the crack of dawn. Rubbing his face he knew there was no more sleep for that night. It was always like this after reliving that memory.

In the heat of the battle when he could finally hug Mr. Stark during their reunion, he might have said that being snapped out of existence felt like a few moments to him, but ever since he came back it was also like an eternity.

In truth that time was five years in this dimension. And Peter simply couldn’t deal with the fact that he had lost all those years. Every time he looked at those who stayed, he could see that they have aged. Like aunt May. The wrinkles of sorrow were deeper on her otherwise still beautiful face. The worry for Peter never seemed to leave from her eyes, as if she was afraid that he could disappear again in any moment.

Peter couldn’t blame her, though. He understood that those five years were difficult for those who remained. And although his body didn’t age that much, his mind felt as if it was five years older. It was a confusing concept to digest. He was living in a 17 years old body with the mind of a 22 years old young man. He was not a teenager anymore. Or at least not mentally…

Soon after the battle once they all gathered for the first time, still sporting the bandaged up injuries they’ve got, Peter’s senses could see and feel the changes in everyone too. They only got clearer with each time they met ever since. Although he sometimes participated in talking out the past events, he more often just observed the others or used his own way to cope with all the traumatic events: patrolling the streets of Queens as Spider-Man and helping out wherever he could. It didn’t mean, though, that he was fine. He was far from that. Hence the recurring nightmares.

Slightly shaking his head, he sat down to his table in his boxers and old Iron Man T-shirt to flip on his desk lamp. Its light fell onto a framed picture of him with the full team of Avengers back up at the facility before it was leveled by Thanos and his army. It was Peter’s favorite group photo, even if it always reminded him that nothing will ever be the same.

He missed them all, especially Natasha’s snarky comments, but as his eyes moved from face to face, they stopped on Mr. Stark’s. He sighed bitterly, drinking in every last detail of the handsome face. Not that those weren’t already burned into his mind.

Peter has been an Iron Man fan boy since he was a little kid. He was barely 9 years old when the man himself saved him from a droid at Stark Expo. His “Nice work, kid!” comment stuck with him all his life. It was his inspiration and whenever he felt down or failed at something, Peter recalled that moment and took strength from it. He wanted to make Mr. Stark proud of him.

He knew that he basically idolized him and at times wouldn’t shut up about him to Ned. He never told anyone that all his life everything he had done was influenced by that need to live up to that moment and praising from Iron Man himself…

As years went by, from fan boy he became something else. Or rather his enthusiasm has changed into something else. Ned often joked that maybe Peter had a crush on the man. For a while Peter laughed those remarks off, but after a while he started thinking and searching his feelings. He had immense respect to the genius in the iron suit even before they had met for the first time. And oh boy! That in itself was one of the most surreal and life-changing moments to Peter.

Right then and there behind the initial shock, he was smitten. Because no footage found on the internet or played on TV could prepare him to that charisma and presence. Mr. Stark carried himself with confidence and like someone who exactly knew what he was capable of.

For the young Peter Parker Mr. Stark was all he wanted to become. So from that first meeting, he worked hard every day to impress the man and live up to his thrust. For god’s sake, he even made him a Spider suit. He had to earn it!

It was strange that he finally managed to do so _without_ the suit while going against the Vulture. That was the moment when Peter knew too what he was capable of. When he came to his full powers. When he became who he was supposed to be. Thanks to Tony Stark _again_ …

He passed the billionaire’s tests with flying colors and Peter thought he was on top of the world from happiness. He felt proud of and fully satisfied with himself for the first time since he had lost his parents.

Soon after that, on an uneventful day at school while writing an essay during literature class, the puzzle pieces have finally fallen to their places and he realized what he felt towards his… mentor. Somehow – without him noticing it – that mixture of respect and love transformed into… well, a deeper love. Like… _love love_.

He was _in love_ with Tony Stark…

Peter knew it was stupid and nothing would ever come out of it since Mr. Stark was 30+ years older and was married with a family too. Not to mention that he still saw Peter as a kid. But… the feelings were there and only got stronger with every look, touch and hug. That surprise birthday party back in August also gave his tender feelings a big boost. But he wanted more…

He was now a full-time Avenger too and maybe that job offer at SI too would give him more opportunities to be close to the man he still wanted to impress. Until then he had this new project to work on. His part was to try figuring out how to integrate Wanda’s own memories into the new body.

Peter pushed the book on biochemistry (Dr. Banner’s birthday present) to the side and opened the one on magic theory which he got from Dr. Strange. He’s been too preoccupied lately to focus on Mr. Stark’s project, but now he wanted to give his all to it to make the man look proudly at him once again.

***

  
[Source](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kI674H67Kfw/UccTZIQ88mI/AAAAAAAAUVU/JQ8HszblvFk/s1600/Modern_Mansion_In_Toronto_by_Belzberg_Architects_Group_on_world_of_architecture_01.jpg)

Peter didn’t know what to expect. Or rather how bad things might be. A few days later after he talked with Mr. Banner on the phone, Peter decided that it was time he paid a visit to his mentor. He got directions from Bruce and soon found himself walking into the secluded modern mansion Mr. Stark has been working in for months.

Although the style was very contemporary, the three-storey building strangely blended perfectly into the greenery around. It was mostly white and gray with clean-cut corners and edges. That theme continued on the inside too with the minimalist furniture and decorations, yet Peter thought it somehow fitted Mr. Stark’s personality too. Maybe because it reminded the boy on the labs he had seen the older man work in before.

On the phone Dr. Banner said Mr. Stark would likely to be on the sub-level where his lab was and he was right. He also told Peter to try to be… gentle with him. Whatever that was supposed to mean… So he did approach quietly and a bit cautious – not that Mr. Stark would hear him through the music of AC/DC blasting through the hidden speakers.

“Your guest has arrived, sir,” Peter heard Friday announce his arrival and the music’s volume was turned down a bit. He stopped in his tracks and swallowed hard.

“What are you doing here, kid?” the older man asked without turning around on his stool. He kept tinkering with something on his worktable which Peter couldn’t see from behind.

“I-I just thought I might stop by and chat a bit,” he said a bit unsure if he was even welcomed. On his birthday party he thought they got much closer with Mr. Stark, but the neutral – bordering on cold – tone he used now made Peter unsure. Maybe this was a bad idea after all…

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school? Or with friends? Or your aunt, for that matter?”

“It’s Saturday, so no school, sir. And I wanted to be here. With you,” he said on a steadier voice. He wasn’t a boy anymore, after all. He might as well stop acting like one and man up. Why was it that it was so much more difficult around this man?

To that Tony finally turned around and looked at Peter standing there with a sports bag in one hand. His shoulders looked somehow broader and more defined. Just like the features on the clear young face. It was less of a boy’s face but not quite a man’s yet. Peter was growing up fast. The difference could be seen even since that birthday party.

On the other hand, now Peter understood what Dr. Banner meant. Mr. Stark looked like shit. Hair tousled, his always perfectly manicured goatie and beard longer than usual and surrounded by stubble. The dark circles under a tired pair of eyes told Peter that lately sleep has been scarce in his mentor’s daily schedule. The wrinkles seemed to be deeper around his eyes and mouth – just like on aunt May’s face. Tony looked older too. But it didn’t bother Peter, who slowly walked to the work station, putting down his bag and flashed a smile at the man, who kept staring at him without a word. Frankly, it started to get a bit creepy.

“Are you okay, Mr. Stark? You don’t look so good,” Peter blurted out. _Very subtle, Parker_ , he scolded himself.

“Just tired a bit,” he shrugged and watched Peter looking around in the lab.

“Maybe you should take a break and like… shower and shave and sleep?” the boy suggested on an innocent voice. “This lab is amazing, by the way. I like it better than the bigger one we used to have upstate. This is more… intimate but just as well-equipped,” he babbled in his usual way.

“I’m fine. Bruce sent you, huh?” Tony asked on a slightly bitter tone and turned back to his work. “Your trip was in vain, Peter. Go home to your aunt and friends.”

“No!” he suddenly heard the loud and clear protest, which made Tony look at the boy again and he wondered why he heard some desperation in that tone. “Mr. Stark…” Peter continued softer as he walked to the man. “I know I’ve been a bit absent lately, but I also have a few ideas about the Vision project. Could we like… talk those over during dinner? I’m starving. I could whip up something while you take a shower and all, hm? Please?”

For a moment Peter was worried that Tony would try to send him away again and it was written all over his pale face. But finally the man sighed and nodded in defeat.

“Fine. I think there’s some food in the kitchen. I have a housekeeper coming here daily. It’s just us by now, I think,” he said looking up at the digital clock that showed it was 8.30 pm already.

“It’s cool. I’ll go and get dinner ready then,” Peter said while picking up his bag.

The radiant smile he flashed at him stayed with Tony all along while he showered and changed into some clean clothes. The kid was right, he needed to do that as he was starting to stink.

“So… what are those plans?” he asked once he stopped by the door, quietly watching Peter moving around gracefully in his kitchen. It was a nice sight and Tony knew he would have been able to watch him in silence all night long. Still, he stomped down on those disturbing feelings and instead walked to the already set table. The warmed up roasted meat with smashed potatoes and salad were already on their plates. Peter went as far as pouring a glass of red wine to Tony and some water for himself.

Peter didn’t jump from the sudden question. He could probably hear him coming thanks to his enhanced senses. The kid was smiling again as he watched him sit down. His stomach gave a grumble and Tony realized just how hungry he really was.

“I have them right here! Just give me a sec, Mr. Stark,” he replied already fumbling through the contents of his sports bag which he had on the chair next to him. “For a while I was baffled and had no idea. But I’ve got some useful books as birthday presents. Like the one from Mr. Banner that made me understand biochemistry better. That combined with what I read in Dr. Strange’s magic book gave me an idea that could work…”

Tony started eating while he kept watching the clearly excited boy. He was already so much into explaining his new approach that it made his cheeks flush a bit while his eyes focused on packing said books with many markers and a notebook on the table.

“Who would have thought that Gandalf could give us a hand again…” Tony snickered to himself. He wasn’t even surprised that Strange would butt into their business once again. He had no doubt that giving Peter this specific book was not a coincidence. Nothing was a coincidence when it came to that dude.

“Yes! He gave me that book with a purpose. I’m sure of it,” Peter unwittingly agreed with Tony, which made the other man smile under his by now nicely trimmed mustache. “I’m not sure this might actually work, although we ran a few numbers with Karen, but the basic idea is that we could use Wanda’s magic to capture her memories of the two of them and then transfer those into Vision’s mind,” Peter continued on a fast pace, his mind clearly running a mile a minute as he was turning the pages written full with his notes. “I read in Dr. Strange’s book that there are ways to do that and to store or transfer valuable memories. That gave me the idea. Wanda could probably learn these methods.”

“Interesting theory…” Tony said thinking about it. Peter chewing a bit nervously on his bottom lip was a bit distracting sight, though. “I’ll run through your notes and see what you and Karen came up with. Magic is nowhere near my field of expertise, but I’m not surprised about anything anymore,” Tony hummed and took a sip from his wine.

“I have all of Karen’s test results here too,” Peter held up one of the secure pen-drives Tony had given him once. “But… I’m not sure that this would be enough. How are we going to create a body for this new Vision? And does your lab have the power to overcharge it like Mr. Thor’s thunders did?” the kid frowned. Clearly he did his homework on the first Vision’s files too which Tony had sent over to him.

“Don’t worry, kid. We are working on that part too. You saw the cradle in the lab. I’ve got in touch with Helen in Korea and she and Shuri helped me repair and even update it. As far as the body goes, we might get a jump start with the help of Scott and maybe Wanda. That’s still forming. Your idea is good, though. We can start working on this approach.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” Peter beamed at him with a proud and grateful expression.

“But won’t you start eating? I thought you were starving…” he raised a dark brow and held out his hand for Peter to give him the pen-drive. Once he did, Tony plugged it into one of his tablets just to project what appeared on the screen into the air. “Friday, copy the data and analyze Karen’s tests, please.”

“Right away, sir. Download complete, analyzing in progress,” the mechanical female voice said. While waiting, he saw from the corner of his eye that the kid began shoveling the food into his mouth with a slight blush. No witty comments or objections this time.


	4. Phantom be still in my heart

**Chapter 4  
** **“Phantom be still in my heart”**

“Friday, how much time will it take to run the possible combinations and tests?” Peter asked the AI the next day in the lab.

“Approximately three hours and twenty-two minutes, Mr. Parker,” she answered.

“Perfect!” the boy exclaimed, making Tony frown questioningly.

“Why do I have a feeling that you have some hidden agenda in your pretty head?” the other man asked, not even noticing how he referred to Peter.

Right until the kid turned red and shy all of a sudden. The way he dropped his eyes but the smile stayed on said face did… things to Tony’s lower region and he cursed inwardly. He was really starting to feel like an old pervert drooling over his young prey from arm’s reach. What the hell was wrong with him?! Did space or a knock to the head during the fights mess his mind up even more? It was probably the lack of oxygen on that damned spaceship before Carol saved him and Nebula.

“Because I do?” the kid blinked up at him hopefully. That look went straight to his cock too, making Tony look away. Once he really dies and if Hell exists, he is going to burn there for all eternity. No doubt about that. He has to clear his head before this gets worse…

“What are you planning?” he asked holding onto the edge of his workstation. It was cutting into his palm, making it a bit easier to put himself back under control.

“I remember that you mentioned some upgrades to my suit. Maybe we could go try them out in the gym then go for a walk or something? You didn’t give me the grand tour yet, Mr. Stark…”

“True. Alright. Suit up and go ahead. The training room is on the first floor. Back of the house. Karen can show you the way. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes. Have to make a quick phone call,” he said.

“Right away, sir!” Peter smirked and patted his chest like Tony usually did his own, which made the nano-Spider suit cover his body in a few seconds.

“Friday, access Peter’s suit and upload the remaining upgrades into it.”

“I’m on it, boss,” they heard her voice then in a few seconds: “Upload complete.”

“Go, kid. Karen will walk you through the upgrades too.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” Peter beamed at him then walked off, leaving Tony with the image of his lean and toned frame fitted into the skin-tight suit.

“Oh boy…” Tony sighed and rubbed his face with one hand, trying to take a few deep and calming breaths.

***

“Are you sure you want to spend your autumn break here with an old recluse instead of your friends and aunt?” Tony asked a good hour later as they walked out into the back garden, passing the pool.

“I am sure! Now we have time to work on the project and I love spending time with you in general too. I always learn a lot from you, Mr. Stark!” Peter said fast, his cheeks flushed and wavy hair messed up a bit from the time he spent in his suit at the gym.

“Huh…” Tony narrowed his eyes behind his light-blue smart glasses and slid his hands into his pockets. “It just still baffles me.”

“What, sir?” Peter fell in step with him and looked up at the slightly taller man with curiosity in his eyes. Though it was less obvious on his more grown-up face than before the Snap.

“Why on earth you idolize me this much. I’m just an old burnt out superhero with a lot of flaws,” he shrugged, sounding like someone who had spent some time thinking about this.

“That’s _so_ not true! I mean… you are not old, Mr. Stark. And you still have plenty to teach me. You really want to know why… I look up to you so much?” Peter stopped walking and Tony did the same to turn to him.

“Yes, I think we might as well get over that at long last,” he raised a brow a bit more amused. He could put up a fake smile and joke the compliments off in public, but he didn’t find it fair to do that when it came to Peter. He was so… good and still innocent in a way he never was. So open and thirsty for knowledge. Plus he would’ve lied if he said that it didn’t stroke his ego when the kid complimented him in the face…

“Firstly, because despite your flaws and shady stuff in your past, you managed to overcome those and turn things around. To make the world a better place. To help people with your money and inventions and all… To protect them with your suits and the Avengers,” Peter explained, making wild gestures with his hands in the air as emphasis, his eyes sparkling and cheeks red again. “Plus, you’ve saved me at Stark Expo when I was like 9 years old. You probably don’t remember, but it’s okay. You saved me a lot of other times too and I just… as I said before, for a long time I wanted to be like you…”

“Now you don’t want to be like me?” Tony tilted his head to the side a bit questioningly and certainly intrigued by then.

“I mean… don’t get me wrong, sir, there’s nothing wrong with you or anything like that,” Peter held up his hands in front of him before lowering them. “I just… I want to be _me_ now, not someone else. That doesn’t mean I cannot keep drawing inspiration from you and your work. I’m grown up now, not a kid anymore, you know…” he added while playing with the hem of his grey T-shirt.

To that Tony chuckled a bit, but he stopped when he saw Peter frown and press his mouth together a bit. “You are still a kid, Peter. You would’ve deserved a better life… a normal one. Instead I just dragged you deeper into this. I failed you before. When I couldn’t save you on that goddamned planet. And I’m afraid I might fail you again. I don’t want that. I want you… safe… happy.”

He heard the kid sigh disappointed a bit. “But I am happy when I’m with you,” Peter whispered and looked up into his eyes. “And I am _not_ a kid anymore. I feel much older than the pre-Snap me. To be exact, five years older. Mr. Stark… I haven’t told about this to anyone because it’s confusing, but if someone then maybe you can understand this… I feel like I’m 22 trapped in a 17 years old body. It might sound crazy because the snap for me only felt like seconds, but that’s the truth. I tried to read up on similar things… like there are scientifically proven cases about people who feel like their body is alien or not right to them… I just… dunno. I know it’s probably some kind of a ripple effect of the Snap, but I doubt it will fade away…” he looked aside, not wanting to see if Mr. Stark thought that he was crazy.

The rare occasions of Tony Stark being speechless just happened again from that monologue. He didn’t expect this, but he had to agree that Peter did look more serious and older in that moment as his jaw clenched and he kept staring at the garden, clearly in distress. Tony felt the urge to go and hug him to make the boy feel better. But he just watched him a bit longer. He felt so much more mature… and beautiful to him.

Damn, how did he miss this? Peter has changed a lot like everyone else post-Thanos. The boy took part in that bloody battle too and did exceptionally well. Tony probably was blinded so far from what he wanted to see. That hyperactive brilliant kid from that bedroom in Queens, trying to hide the fact from him that he was Spider-Man…

“Look, Peter…” Tony stepped closer and put a hand on his shoulder. “A lot has happened to us, to you. You came back from the dead, after all…” here he lightly squeezed that shoulder. He still thought it was his own personal failure that he couldn’t spare the boy from that experience. “So… it makes sense. You’re not crazy if you were afraid of that. Dealing with these damned Stones or being affected by them can fuck things up pretty badly. Messing with time has its consequences too,” he murmured, trying to be reassuring. “I’m sure you’re not the only one struggling with such a feeling… You do look older because of what happened to you and the world. I believe you, okay?”

To that Peter’s response was to step into the surprised man’s arms, his fingers curling into fists around Tony’s T-shirt on his back. “I knew you would understand, Mr. Stark. Thank you,” he said into his chest next to the glowing triangle in the middle. Peter wasn’t crying like his old self would have. He just held on tight and Tony found himself slowly wrapping his arms around him.

“Don’t mention it, k… Pete,” he murmured into the soft hair, giving himself a moment to just enjoy Peter’s scent and warmth.

He said that there was nothing wrong with Tony. Well, he disagreed strongly. There was plenty wrong with him if he took a closer look of his own feelings towards Peter. Or how reluctant he was to pull back from that hug…

***

 

As usual, Tony tried to use work as an escape route from facing his real problems. Or his demons, in this case. He didn’t notice how that ugly dark bastard kept growing in him each time the kid was around him – sometimes even when he wasn’t. Now it felt as if it was staring at him with a knowing grin from the work stool on the other side of his station.

But of course it wasn’t there for real. It was just what his tired brain came up with. Because giving shape of the darkness inside and hate it this way was easier than facing the fact that it was a part of him that didn’t seem to be ever going away… The more he thought about it, the clearer it became that it’s been there for a long time now. Tony had to stop trying to deny it.

He liked the kid much more than he should have.

He admired his bravery, his intellect and unselfishness. His ability to see the good in everyone and give mercy even to the bad guys. In a way, at least. Because the kid had some serious inhuman strength and could have killed on multiply occasions, but usually chose to spare the lives of the criminals he had caught in the past. Yes, he had killed too now. During the last battle. Because he had no other choice. Kill or be killed, right?

Still… there was some kind of purity to him, which drew Tony in like a moth to the flame. It drew in his darker side too, of course. At first Tony was desperate to recruit new promising members for the fallen apart Avengers when the Sokovia Accords divided their group. Spider-Man seemed to be a good candidate and he was not disappointed in the kid in the end. Then after a while Peter became more than just a protégé. He started looking at him as a son. Tony had no idea that he wanted a kid until he had met Peter Parker.

Although he never said it out loud, for a long while he considered the boy somewhat like an adopted son. And boy, Peter needed a father figure in his life. He’s never been lucky on that department. First he had lost his father then uncle. It was clear in his behavior that he needed to look up to a male figure and maybe that’s why he had started following Tony around like a love-deprived (but very cute) puppy. Looking for Tony’s approval and affection. Tony wasn’t blind. He saw how happy it made the kid when he said he had done well or knew that he was proud of him for a job well-done. He would have hated to put his death on the kid’s consciousness in case he meddled with Strange’s plan and did the “unsnapping” himself… The kid needed a break from losing his father-figures.

He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when his “fatherly” feelings have started to change. But they did. And by the time the poor kid turned to dust between his arms, Tony’s pain from his loss was fuelled by these changed emotions too.

And now… now Peter was so… different. After their talk in the garden, Tony finally understood why he felt and looked different. He still might have a sinfully young body, but Peter Parker was grown up, indeed. It showed on his thinking and in the way he often acted around Tony. He was more serious, he babbled less and thought things through more before he opened his mouth. There was a kind of darkness in the familiar eyes that hasn’t been there before the Snap. Tony was way too familiar with that look. He had that after Afghanistan and only got worse after the Battle of New York. No wonder Peter couldn’t find his place in his old life now.

Though, there was something else that has changed in the looks he gave to Tony. Sure, they still were idolizing at times, but often there was something else in those brown eyes too. Something warm Tony didn’t dare to think too deep into, because he didn’t want to feed the darkness inside.

No, he couldn’t even entertain the possibility that the kid might like him more than he should. It was so wrong on so many levels. Plus he had never heard Peter talk about boys, just occasionally a girl or two in the past before things on the villain and world-saving situation escalated. So as far as he knew, Peter didn’t even swing that way. Not that it would matter if he did and for some twisted reason the kid returned his feelings, because nothing could ever happen between them.

Peter was technically still that: a kid. He was young enough to be his son, for god’s sake… Tony did many questionable things in his past, but he wasn’t going to try to… _taint_ a boy like Peter. He respected and… loved him too much for that. Plus there would be consequences if it ever turned out, of course. Legal and emotional. He had to think of Pepper and Morgan too, even if his relationship with Mrs. Stark was strained at the moment…

The billionaire tried his best to convince himself with thinking through things reasonably. Cold logic always seemed to help him overcome any intruding emotion that would hinder his goal. He was trying to do the same this time too.

So instead of dwelling on these thoughts, he poured a drink to himself, definitely forbidding himself from imagining how Peter would look lying on his stomach and dangling his legs in the air while learning for his graduation. Because that’s why Tony was alone in the lab now. Peter was a responsible kid. He didn’t want to drop out of school because he couldn’t find his place in this new world. He told Tony that he didn’t want to disappoint May either. Peter also had plans of applying to MIT after a while and Tony swore to himself that if needed, he was going to pull all kinds of strings to make that dream come true to the kid. Because he deserved it more than anyone at any university or college. Peter Parker was a hero who helped save the world, dammit!

Tossing his drink back, Tony shook his head and let the drink burn its way down into his stomach. He had to focus on their work instead of letting the kid completely take over his mind like this.

“Friday, remind me tomorrow morning to call Scott Lang for an update.”

“Yes, sir. Reminder set for 8 am.”

Tony just hummed in agreement then pulled Peter’s notebook closer on the table. He had to double check everything before they moved to the next phase of their plan. Reading through the pages, he kept sipping on his scotch. Yes, the kid was brilliant, indeed. He never would have thought about combining science with magic the way Peter seemed to have worked out.

He was wondering if he should maybe borrow Strange’s book too, when he turned to the next page and nearly choked on his drink, eyes going wide.

He slammed both his glass and the notebook down on the desk and tried to breathe even, eyes glued to the upper corner of the next page. There was “Mr. Stark” written with Peter’s unmistakable handwriting… small hearts doodled around it. It was the universal sign of a high school student having a crush…

The dark phantom in Tony’s heart roared triumphant.

“ _Nonononono_ …. Fuck!” he cursed and slammed the notebook shut as if it burned him.

He had to clear his head. He had to literally fuck this out of his system. Because that’s what it was about, right? He’s been holed up for too long in this estate. He had to go out… to get away from the temptation upstairs. Especially after this discovery…

He grabbed his phone and texted the kid that he would be out for a couple of hours and hastily flew away in his suit.

This was bad…


	5. Fighting to hold on

**Chapter 5  
** **“Fighting to hold on”**

It was past midnight when Tony got back to his estate. He was glad that Friday could safely navigate the suit back home, because once the suit was gone, he stumbled a bit drunk still.

Removing the triangle from his chest, he put it on his nightstand and headed towards his bathroom. He still reeked of alcohol and sex. At least he stopped for some cheeseburgers to soak the former up somewhat. It would have been so much easier to just crash onto his bed as he was, but he couldn’t stand the scents now. He couldn’t stand himself, if he wanted to be honest.

He not only had sinful thoughts about that poor kid, he also just cheated on Pepper. And it wasn’t even just a girl at that BDSM club. There was a guy involved too… It’s been years that he went to such a place and Tony knew damn well that he only had sex with the guy too to forget Peter. It didn’t work.

Instead of satisfaction, he was exhausted to the bone and felt guilty as he stepped under the cold water, which made him gasp. He had to sober up and catch at least a few hours of sleep to be useful in the morning. They had to supervise an important part of their plan after all.

Though he wasn’t surprised that his mind kept reeling once he brushed his teeth and fell into bed only in a clean pair of boxers. Replaying the night and seeing that damn doodle every time he closed his slightly burning eyes.

After a lot of tossing and turning, he woke from a half-asleep state with a start. He thought he had heard something. He strained his ears, but there was nothing. He was about to fall back to sleep when he heard it again. Faint protests and whimpers.

“What is it, Friday?” he whispered into the darkness.

“It appears that Mr. Parker is having a nightmare, sir,” the female voice replied.

“Oh…”

“He’s had them a few times since he’s been here. Want me to wake him up?”

“No… Not necessary. I’ll check on him.”

“Very well, sir.”

Frowning, Tony got up and while putting on an old _Black Sabbath_ T-shirt, he wondered since when did the kid get these. They never really talked about it, but he assumed that probably since the battle. He, himself often got those too. No surprise there, right? Still, he suddenly felt very protective of the kid and didn’t want him to suffer more.

Barefoot, he quietly padded to the door next to his and stuck his head in. True to Friday’s report, Peter seemed to be in distress, tossing and turning in bed. Tony had to strain his eyes as only the dim lights of the pool and garden illuminated the room, but the movements were unmistakable.

For a moment he hesitated but then convinced himself that he was there to help. With a sigh he walked over to the bed and sat down on it, lightly touching Peter’s shoulder.

“Hey, kid… Wake up. It’s just a bad dream. Can you hear me?” he asked, lightly shaking that shoulder. His heart was breaking a bit with every painful whimper that left Peter.

“No… not them too…” Tony heard the faint protest and in the dim light realized that Peter’s face was wet from tears.

“Peter, Pete! Hey! It’s me, Tony. Come on now. Wake up. Come back to me!” he said while he kept lightly shaking the boy, his fingers getting lost in the damp curls as he tried to soothe him.

“Not Mr. Stark… _Please_! I need him!” Peter babbled and tried to tear himself out of the older man’s hands, but Tony didn’t let that happen.

“Peter!” he raised his voice and was about to grab both of his shoulders for a harder shake when suddenly the kid opened his dream-hazed eyes, nearly hyperventilating in his confusion. “Hey kid. Welcome back. It’s okay, it was just a nightmare. You’re safe. I’m here. I’m _still here_ ,” he quickly murmured, watching as the boy started focusing on him. Good.

“M-Mr… Stark… I’m sorry…” he whispered on a raspy and broken voice and Tony pushed down the picture of his own nightmares, because in them after this Peter disintegrated. Without noticing, his fingers tightened on Peter’s shoulder from that.

“No need to say sorry, Pete. You did nothing wrong,” he murmured softly and didn’t protest when in the next moment the kid sat up to hug him desperately. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m here. Not going anywhere,” he continued on the same soft tone, feeling how damp the trembling body was between his arms. He felt some fresh tears wet his T-shirt, but he didn’t care just gently rocked the shaken up boy, giving him time to calm down.

They stayed like that for a few long minutes until the crying stopped and Peter’s breathing evened out. But he never loosened his hold on Tony and kept his face buried in his chest. The other man wasn’t that good in comforting others, so he just stayed silent for a change and occasionally caressed the boy’s hair or back with closed eyes. He also may or may not have sniffed him.

“Aren’t you going to ask what I dreamt about?” Peter suddenly asked barely above a whisper.

Tony inhaled long as if coming back from a different dimension. “I don’t have to. I can come up with a few scenarios. All are Thanos-related. But if you want to… tell me. I’ll listen.”

Peter sighed bitterly. “I often dream of turning into dust… but now it was first May then you. I begged Thanos not to do it,” he whispered, tightening his hold a bit on the other man as if he wanted to make sure that just from talking about it wouldn’t actually make it happen. “But he just grinned and you and then others were gone and he sent his army on me. Thank you for waking me up.”

“It’s okay. I tend to dream with him and the battles too,” Tony murmured while absently caressing the soft curls then slid his hand down onto Peter’s shoulder as he felt the boy pull back a bit to be able to look up at him.

“You do?”

His eyes were big and a bit red and puffy. That Tony could tell even in the semi-dark room. And boy, he looked so vulnerable and innocent with that expression and pose that Tony had to exhale slowly and push down every last inappropriate thought that the “phantom” wanted to bring up. This was not the time. Not that there would be a time for that at all. _Ever_ …

“Yes. More often than I would want to,” Tony chuckled a bit bitterly and shrugged. “It comes with the job, kid. I guess.”

“That’s… yeah, I’ve noticed. Makes sense. It was bound to happen to me sooner or later too. To get some kind of PTSD. Can I ask…?”

“What I dream about?” To Peter’s nod Tony sighed again. “It’s simple, kid. Failing to do my job of protecting others. Losing everyone and everything. Lately it’s been mostly you turning into dust and me not being able to stop that. I never said sorry for that, by the way,” he gave Peter a little apologetic smile. Tony was surprised that it was so easy to spill the beans to this kid. But then again… Peter’s been there, done the same. Went through the Decimation himself. So he understood better than anyone else, right? Pepper would never understand the way he saw in this kid’s eyes that he did.

“Seriously? I mean… wow… And Mr. Stark… you shouldn’t blame yourself for that. It wasn’t your fault. It was Thanos’ fault.”

And there it was. The second time since Peter woke up that he was the wiser man in the room. He truly has grown a lot, hasn’t he?

“Thanks, kid. By the way… I was meaning to ask before… how… how did it feel?”

“Getting wiped out of existence? Scary. My Spidey-senses were trying to warn me but I didn’t know of what or what was happening. Then it felt really… really strange. No pain. Just… like… you know when you are paralyzed. I couldn’t move and then felt that strange dry numbness in my body and… and it was over. There was only darkness afterwards. No sensing or time or space,” Peter whispered barely audible at the end and looked aside. “My last thought was how much I hated that I had to leave you there in pain.”

“Oh boy…” Tony looked away too, feeling his throat tighten just like his fingers did on Peter’s shoulder, aiming for reassuring but not sure that he managed to deliver. He remembered those agonizing moments crystal clear. Still wasn’t over them.

“Mr. Stark…” he heard the unsure voice and a gentle touch on his wrist, as if Peter wanted to keep his mentor’s hand on his shoulder.

“Yes?” he turned back, meeting the even more unsure and maybe shy look.

“Would you… Uhm… Would you stay here with me for the rest of the night? I don’t want to be alone right now,” Peter said so fast and quiet that Tony barely caught it.

“I don’t think it’s a…” he started. Not that he didn’t want to stay, but he wasn’t sure he should trust himself around the kid right now. They both were very vulnerable.

“Please?” Peter cut him off, the begging thick in his voice and very obvious in his dark eyes. He needed Tony badly for some reason he could never comprehend. But it did the trick. It was not in him to disappoint him, no matter the war he had to fight inside every damn minute he was around this kid. No matter how deep Peter got under his skin. Peter needed him and Tony just realized that there was probably very little left he wouldn’t do to help him. To see that intoxicating smile of his again.

“Alright. Scoot over a bit.”

And there it was. A fainter version of said smile and also the relief was clear on Peter’s face. Maybe Tony would regret this in the morning, but for once, he allowed himself to indulge in this.

He was soon lying on his back, giving Peter a half-hug with an arm around his back. Peter didn’t shy away and went to rest his head on Tony’s chest, one arm draped around him.

They both stayed tense for a few more moments then as Peter exhaled relieved, his muscles went lax. For a moment it was as if he was afraid that Tony would eventually push him away. But he didn’t.

“Mr. Stark…”

“Hm?”

“Thank you… and good night,” he whispered slowly slipping back into sleep while listening to the steady heartbeats under his ear. That, Mr. Stark’s scent and the barely there caresses on his back and shoulder seemed to work like magic.

“Good night, Peter…”

***

The next morning brought a gloomy and rainy day. Peter’s mood didn’t improve from it as he was standing all dressed by the floor-to-ceiling windows of his room. He was alone now. And felt it more than ever from the way Mr. Stark has left. Though the day started nicely at first…

He woke up still in Mr. Stark’s arms. During the night the older man turned onto his side too and held Peter to him. Waking up with his face buried into the strong chest, being surrounded by Mr. Stark’s scent and warmth and arms felt like a dream come true to Peter.

For a while he didn’t even dare to move because he wanted to enjoy this to the fullest. He was scared that it was the first and last time, so he memorized every second of it. The rising and falling of the arc reactor-free chest against his face, the steady and calm heartbeats, the sounds as Mr. Stark inhaled and exhaled in his sleep, the protective yet gentle way he was holding Peter close and the way their legs kinda interwove in that position.

For a brief few minutes Peter fully gave way to the emotions he felt for this man and lulled himself into the fantasy that in a parallel universe perhaps being in each other’s arms would be the most natural thing. He believed that this is how it would feel to be together with someone who loved him back. To be held like this by that special person.

But that little bubble was quickly burst by the man himself in question. Once Mr. Stark woke up, the awkwardness struck and he closed off. That open expression and the vulnerability from the night before were nowhere to be found. Just a forced little smile as he asked if Peter was okay. When he said yes, Mr. Stark retreated as fast as he dared.

Peter was not okay, though.

It hurt to watch the man leave him in the middle of the bed without a second glance. The moment the door clicked shut, Peter felt cold and lonely again. Lost in his mind which was dragged back from those warm and fuzzy fantasies into the harsh reality. Mr. Stark would never… Even if Peter thought for some brief moments during the night… He was stupid. Such a naive kid still. Though… who could blame him? He’s never been in love before. Or been with anyone before, for that matter. Still, it hurt. It felt as if he did something wrong and offended Mr. Stark somehow. When all Peter wanted was for the man to love him back. Maybe he asked for too much…

Mr. Stark leaving for hours the night before was what messed Peter up in the first place. Yes, he had a few short nightmares since he’s been staying there, but he somehow always felt safe knowing that Mr. Stark was nearby. When he had left to go to god knows where, that safe feeling was gone, nearly making Peter have a panic attack. Oh, how he hated being so weak…

And now… now when this morning could have gone so much better, he got his hopes crushed instead. He was expecting another round of nightmares for tonight. But maybe if he stayed up in the lab, he would be able to avoid those.

“Mr. Parker, Dr. Banner and Mr. Lang have arrived,” he suddenly heard Friday’s voice.

“Are they in the lab with Mr. Stark?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, Friday. I’ll be right there.”

Zipping up his red hoodie, he sighed and walked out of his room with a gloomy expression to take a beeline towards the kitchen for some strong coffee. He would need a few of those to get through the day… and the night.


	6. The ghost by my side

**Chapter 6  
** **“The ghost by my side”**

“So you have it or not?” Mr. Stark asked just when Peter walked into the lab with a steaming cup of coffee. He looked tired and judged by his tone a bit impatient too as he cut short the brunette man’s rambling.

“I do. There was some left in a kind of… emergency stash of Dr. Pym,” Lang finally nodded and pulled out a red vile of Pym particles. “But let me tell you, man, it took _a lot_ of persuading from me and Hope to get my hands on it. The old man wasn’t too willing.”

Tony was about to say something – probably snarky – but Bruce cut him off. “We owe you guys big time. Is it enough for the trip there and back?”

“Yes. It’ll do if nothing comes up,” Scott nodded. “Oh and I want that in writing. That you owe us,” he grinned.

“Oh god… Can we just… get on with it?” Stark sighed and rubbed his face as he stepped to his workstation to tap on the keyboard. It made several windows come alive in the air, showing statistics and a picture of the cradle and another of Vision’s build up.

“What’s his problem?” Scott mouthed towards Peter, whose eyes went wide for a moment then shrugged as he rather took a sip from his coffee.

“Alright, alright. Chill out, everyone,” the big green professor held up his shovel hands. “We all are tense about this as we have one shot. Like when we went after the Stones. We don’t have a platform this time so we do it the old school way, right? Where’s your van, Scott?”

“Parked right outside.”

“Is the device operational?” Bruce asked.

“Yes, we managed to fix it. I did a few trips into the Quantum Realm since then. Everything works,” he reassured the other men.

“Can I go with him?” they suddenly heard Peter ask.

To that Tony seemed to have dropped a pen on the table and he turned towards him with a bewildered expression. “Out of the question.”

“Why?” Peter outright pouted. “I’ve missed out on the whole time traveling thing due to… well, not existing back then…”

“Are you out of your mind, kid?! Your aunt would castrate me if I let you go and I’m quite fond of my balls, thank you very much!” Mr. Stark exclaimed and stared at him as if he truly had lost his mind. But Peter stood that look and didn’t back down.

Feeling the tension skyrocketing in the lab, Bruce seemed to resume to his peace-making role. “Peter, unfortunately if your aunt’s death threats wouldn’t be enough, Tony is right. It’s dangerous and we don’t have enough particles or those special suits anymore. Only Scott’s suit is safe to use,” he explained on a softer voice, looking apologetic at the clearly disappointed kid.

“Fine…” Peter sighed.

“I would gladly take you for a ride, Parker, but they are right,” Scott chimed in too as he patted Peter’s shoulder, earning a grunt from Tony.

“Got it. Thanks anyway, Mr. Lang. It’s nice of you,” Peter smiled at him, but didn’t miss from the corner of his eye how Mr. Stark’s expression darkened and he rather turned back to his screens. Seriously, what _was_ his problem?

“Alright. It’s time to send this ant to fish,” Stark broke up the little scene and they started preparing for the time jump.

“Remember…”

“I know, Tony. Just in and out. This isn’t my first rodeo,” Scott said through the radio once he put his helmet on and he gave a thumbs up to Bruce who was standing by the control panel at the van.

Tony and Peter stayed in the lab to monitor things from there. That comment earned a scoff from Stark then they watched as the Quantum Tunnel came alive and then Scott was gone.

They stood there in silence, watching the camera feed from Lang’s helmet. Right until Peter suddenly blurted out what’s been on his mind.

“I want to be your lab assistant, Mr. Stark.”

“Say what?” Tony turned his face towards the young man standing next to him. Shock and confusion written all over it.

“Once I graduate,” Peter offered as an explanation. “You know… as a job that you offered. Perhaps a part-time one next to college.”

“I know what you meant, but that’s not…”

“Either that or I’ll have to politely refuse your birthday gift,” he cut in, his arms crossed in front of his chest and there was a challenge in the brown eyes. Despite the fact that Mr. Stark tried to put some distance between them, he wasn’t going to back down. He said he could decide what kind of a job. This was his dream. Working close to the most brilliant mind he’s ever known. He was ready to fight for it, if necessary.

“You know how to drop a bomb on people, kid… Your timing is a bit off. Can we talk about this later? We are kinda in the middle of something important,” he waved towards the screens where Scott successfully returned in time to Wakanda.

“Fine. But I won’t change my mind. These are my terms,” Peter shrugged and turned back to watch how Scott snuck into the room where Vision’s body was placed after his death. Thanks to the blueprints Shuri had provided earlier, he knew the shortcuts to the place.

“Got my eyes on the prize, guys,” they heard Scott’s voice.

“Alright. No hero stuff. Just get close, grab him and come back,” Tony said while Peter dug his fingers into his own crossed arms.

“I knoooow. Stop acting like my boss, geez! I’m doing the favor here…” Scott huffed as he ran across the floor still in ant-size.

That made Tony roll his eyes and Peter and Bruce chuckle. Then they all held their breaths as Scott pushed the controls on his suit to return to his normal size.

In that moment the alarm sounded in the room, making them all curse.

“Great! You just tripped their alarm!” Tony exclaimed nervously and Peter instinctively reached out to put a hand on his forearm to keep him calm. The older man’s muscles tensed from the touch, but he didn’t have time to dwell on that right now.

“And whose fault was it that I didn’t know it would happen once I’m big enough to trip the sensors?!” Scott grunted back.

“It doesn’t matter. We still have a little time. Use it well.”

“Okay, fine. Oh man, this poor guy got it bad,” he said once he looked over the grey lifeless body with the big hole in its forehead where the Soul Stone used to be. “Okay, let’s get you home, buddy…” Scott murmured as he reached out to drape Vision’s arm over a shoulder. “Wow, this dude is heavy…” he grunted then just when he heard some running footsteps from outside the room, he punched the time travel gadget on his wrist and they both disappeared from the room.

A collective sigh of relief left them all once Scott and his package reappeared by the van. Bruce was quick to lift Vision’s body into his arms. Peter was still panting a bit from the run he did from the lab upstairs and helped Scott stand up to guide him inside.

***

It’s been dark outside for a while and only half of the lab was illuminated by the lamps. Namely, the part where the fixed regeneration cradle stood. Tony was kneeling by an open panel on the side of the cradle and went all old school on it with a screw driver in hand and a safety glass with a small light on it in front of his eyes as he leaned closer to tinker.

He’s been at it for a while and only his low curses and mumbles broke the silence of the lab. Then he let out a long sigh as if giving up, but he kept trying to figure out the problem.

“You are staring a hole into my back, kid…” he grunted nonchalantly. Obviously to Peter, who’s been sitting on a stool for quite some time, just watching Tony working.

To that Peter gracefully hopped off the stool and nearly soundlessly walked over to the cradle. “I was hoping that we could do that talk now.”

“I’m busy.”

“I saw you work and talk and do three different things at once plenty of times before. So that’s not an excuse,” Peter said, putting a slender hand on the edge of the cradle and leant on it.

“Kid…”

“I am not.”

“What?” Tony finally paused and looked up. He noticed how Peter was frowning as he rested his other hand on his hip, eyes dead serious. Well, that was a relatively rare look for him so far.

“I am not a kid anymore. It would be nice if you stopped treating me like one, Mr. Stark.”

That left Tony without a clever retort and this time it was he who stared in silence. Peter stood his look for a while then closed his eyes and shook his head. He looked tired and… disappointed?

“Why?”

“What why?” Peter looked up, watching the other man finally stand up.

“Why do you want to be my lab assistant? I thought you would have liked to work in a lab with… more people. New people. New projects and all.”

To that Peter couldn’t stop a short chuckle, deepening the brilliant man’s confusion. Well, right now he looked rather dumb (and cute if you asked Peter).

“It’s very simple, Mr. Stark. I want to learn from _you_. Most of what they can teach, I can learn here,” he waved around with his hands. “Besides I want to be on your side as much as you would allow me. Because, let’s face it, we have to be a few steps ahead of the world to be prepared for whatever or whoever we might face in the future with the Avengers. I am one of you now too. I want to be a help for you and the team. I could be a great assistant. A human one with own ideas, not robots you had built. No offence Dum-E and U. You know I love you both, guys!” here Peter looked into the darker part of the lab with an apologetic smile and hand gesture. Dum-E made some robotic sound to that comment, but Peter’s gaze was already back on Mr. Stark. “And I can help in the most effective way if I work on your side. Don’t you think?”

“All what you said are very logical and make sense, but…” the dark-haired man put the screw-driver down and reached for a cloth to wipe his hand clean in it.

“But what?” Peter nearly barked with his cutting in, his patience just running out. He never would have dared to talk to Mr. Stark like this. He owed him a lot. But he was also getting angry from his confusion and conflicting emotions.

The other man’s eyes widened for a split second as he watched the tension and barely suppressed anger on the familiar face. It was not a common look on Peter or his alter ego. At all. It surprised Tony and he was scrambling for excuses to dodge this bullet. It would be too much temptation… He couldn’t… He shouldn’t…

“Peter… what about MIT? Traveling Europe with your friends? And all your other plans?” he asked instead.

“As I said before, I could balance MIT and working for you. Like a part-time job. Like what I’ve been doing for a long while with being Spider-Man when needed and going to school at daytime. I could also do some of my theoretical courses through the online lectures of the professors at MIT while I’m here.”

“You’ve put quite some thought into his, huh?” Tony raised a brow, secretly impressed by that fact and seeing just how much Peter wanted to be around him. His ego would have taken that nice stroke any time, but this was different…

“Yes. This is what I want. And I will fight for it if I have to,” he said with a light frown, dead serious.

 _Damn_ , Tony thought, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Look, k… Peter… First, I’d get back on your aunt’s black list...” Tony half-joked, but it just made the kid snort and wave it off.

“BS. She loves you too and she’s already used to me staying out and doing the superhero stuff.”

“Alright, fair enough. But you have no idea just how time-consuming and hard MIT can get. Plus going back and forth between here and there could get quite tiring too. Even with jets or super suits…” he continued listing off the reasons that came into his mind, even if he saw just how Peter’s face started to get darker and sadder with each reason. “And you should also experience the student life. Parties and pulling all-nighters before an exam and dating and falling in love, sexy time and all that. Hell, even throw in some reckless shit for good measure…”

“But I _don’t_ want that!” Peter raised his voice, feeling disappointed and frustrated. If Mr. Stark knew him even a little, he would understand that all that meant little compared to what he could achieve on this man’s side. If he allowed it. If he wanted Peter to be around. At all.

“But you _should_ , Peter! You never really had the chance before to do these. It’s part of growing up… And after graduation it will be your chance to do all the above.”

Suddenly silence fell onto the lab as they were staring at each other, the tension only building in the air, making the fine hairs on Peter’s body stand on end.

“What did I do wrong, Mr. Stark?” Peter suddenly found himself facing the man from inches, hands curling into fists by his sides as he tried to control his emotions – with little luck. “Why have you been trying to push me away ever since this morning? Is it something I said?” Peter asked frustrated and also kinda disappointed and sad – maybe even a bit scared that he was right and he did mess something up without noticing. It wouldn’t be the first time in his life.

“No, k… Peter…You did _nothing_ wrong…” Tony started and not being able to stop himself, he gently grabbed the young man’s upper-arms in an attempt to console him and maybe emphasize his words. It was quite literally painful to look at that sad face. Another one. It was all Tony’s doing – like usual.

“Then I… I don’t understand, Mr. Stark… I thought you would be okay with this… I thought that you and I… that we work well together…” Peter said lower, trying to blink away the burning from his eyes. He wasn’t going to break down and cry in front of Mr. Stark. He was stronger than that, but even the thought… “But if you don’t want to work with me or be around me, just say so, please. Instead of coming up with lame excuses to push me away. You are not being fair, Mr. Stark…”

Maybe Peter was right. He wasn’t fair with the boy. He let him close then now tried to push him away without giving him a real reason for that. Was he unwittingly playing with his emotions? Yes, he was, Tony realized and he hated himself for that because it was the last thing he wanted to do to him. Beautiful, clever and loyal Peter… He never had anyone quite like this kid in his life and it still baffled Tony how he had managed to crawl so much under his skin.

He got so lost in beating himself up that he didn’t realize that the silence was stretching too long between them, giving the wrong impression to the poor kid. He only came to his senses, when Peter’s face flinched and his eyes watered up, trying to pull free from Tony’s hold. As he started to turn away, the older man caught a glimpse of his expression and it twisted his heart. The kid looked like his whole world was crumbling down from the assumed rejection.

“Hey! Nonononono! Pete! Look at me. It’s not like that at all…I love you, kid, you know that…” Tony grabbed his arm again and tugged on it in a mixed attempt to turn and pull Peter back closer. To feel the heat of his youthful body and smell his familiar scent again. Two things he just realized that made him feel a bit better in the midst of his own misery.

What he didn’t expect was the impulsive reaction of Peter. It took Tony’s mind a moment to catch up with the fact that the teen got much closer than he intended.

In a nearly desperate way, Peter grabbed one of his shoulders while the other pulled Tony closer by his nape. The next moment he could feel the soft lips pressed against his own, making his eyes widen in shock and his fingers flex around the nicely toned upper-arm.

It was a bold move on Peter’s part, but he couldn’t help it. For a very long time he’s been trying to hide his real feelings for Mr. Stark and now that he said he loved him, something broke through in him. Of course, he wasn’t stupid. He knew Mr. Stark didn’t mean it _that_ way. But he just… he wasn’t thinking… just acting. He just… had to.

His own fingers lightly moved in the dark hair, like a half-stroke, his pink lips pressing another kiss on the other man’s without really removing it first. It was a chaste, barely there kiss and probably a bit clumsy too, but that was that. All Peter’s equally shocked mind was trying to do was to burn every detail of this moment into him for an eternity. Just in case this was his only chance to steal a kiss from Mr. Stark.

For a few agonizing and nerve-wrecking moments there was no movement on the other side of the kiss. But then… like in a wet dream come true, Mr. Stark shivered and kissed him back. He kissed him back! _Oh my god_ , Peter thought.

Still, there was some fear in Peter’s eyes once their lips parted and they looked at each other afterwards. A fear that Mr. Stark would be mad. But what he saw in his darker than dark eyes sent a shiver down on Peter’s spine and his lips slightly parted. It was pure desire and something… darker behind all those conflicting emotions. He was sure about that.

The tension reached its peak quickly and they moved in at the same time in the next moment. Their mouths clashed unceremoniously this time and Peter instinctively opened his mouth for the other man’s demanding tongue, his own answering its call eagerly.

It was sloppy and a bit wet and awkward, but the best kiss he could ever dream up because there was so much passion and need in it that it made his head dizzy and his lower regions very interested. He especially loved how Mr. Stark’s arms unwittingly sneaked around him and held him close.

But when the young man faintly moaned into the other man’s kiss, all of a sudden it was over and he felt a light push against his chest.

“No! This is wrong! I can’t… No…” he heard Mr. Stark’s raspy protest as he made a hasty retreat for the second time in one day.

It left a very much confused (and aroused) boy in the empty lab. Peter just stood there in shock long enough to hear Mr. Stark’s door bang shut above and it made his heart sink as he touched his slightly swollen lips.

 _Now_ he did mess everything up, didn’t he?


	7. We're playing with fire

**Chapter 7  
"We're playing with fire"**

The next day Wanda Maximoff finally walked through the doors in one of her signature longer red leather jackets, a black dress and boots underneath and a few silver necklaces around her neck. She flipped her long red hair out of her slightly nervous face before accepting the hug from Peter and the greetings of Tony and Bruce.

“Welcome to my humble abode, Wanda. We have a room ready for you if you want to rest.”

“Thank you and no, I’m ready for whatever you want me to do to move things forward,” she said to Tony with a slight accent.

“Alright. In that case, Peter will explain to you what your part will be in the process while Bruce and I will go back to the lab to run some more diagnostics and get everything ready for tomorrow,” Tony said.

Wanda simply nodded and looked at Peter expectantly.

“Right, right… This way, Miss Maximoff…” the clearly a bit embarrassed boy waved towards the stairs.

“Oh please… It’s just Wanda. When will you learn that?” she smiled faintly at him as they started walking, not missing the awkward glimpse between the young man and Stark.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying,” Peter chuckled rubbing the back of his head as they climbed the stairs, the boy carrying her bag. “This is going to be your room,” he opened it for her then followed her in to put her bag down.

“Nice. I like how bright it is from the natural light,” she said walking to the floor-to-ceiling window panes.

“That’s what I love about this house the most too, I think,” Peter said as he put her stuff down on the bed.

“It’s peaceful and beautiful here,” she nodded then turned around to walk back to the bed and sit down on it, patting the cover next to her. “Sit with me, Peter, and tell me about how I might help in bringing him back.”

“Right!” Peter said, trying to collect his thoughts and focus on the task at hand. “Karen, pull up the files, please!” Peter asked his AI as he sat down next to Wanda.

“Yes, Peter,” they heard the disembodied voice then a holo-screen appeared in the air at eye-level in front of the bed.

“You see, for my birthday Dr. Strange gave me an interesting book on magic. It had a chapter that described ways to capture a sorcerer’s memories along with some of their power to duplicate and keep them safe somewhere outside their minds. Perhaps in case of the sorcerer losing his or her memories for some reason. I was thinking that if you could learn how to do that, you could essentially copy your memories with Vision. We could plant these memories into his incomplete mind…” Peter started to explain, moving his finger on the holo-screen to show her the spell’s description, some texts and a visual representation of how those memories would be added to Vision’s projected mind.

“I see… The spell… it doesn’t look too complicated but I would still need to practice it…” she said, reading through the description.

“Of course… There’s no rush. Although, you have to know that even if we succeed, it probably doesn’t mean Vision would have the same feelings towards you like… before,” he said very softly. “These are going to be ‘just’ memories of the two of you… I’m sorry,” the young man frowned apologetically.

Wanda took her eyes off the screen to examine his face. “It’s… alright. All I care about is if this actually works… Will it?” she asked seriously and with worry.

“We believe it will, yes.”

“Good. Then we can deal with the rest when we get there.”

“Yes. Mr. Stark said that you two could stay here in this house after we brought Vision back. To get to know each other all over again and all that. Vision will probably have a lot of questions and things you’ll have to guide him through.”

“I expected that much,” she nodded then put her heavily ringed hand on Peter’s. “Thank you… for all of you for trying to do this for me. You are good friends,” she said then paused, just examining the young man’s face, her touch on his skin giving her some strange feelings.

“Oh, it’s no problem, Miss… Wanda. Besides giving you back the love of your life, we see it as a scientific challenge too, you know. I mean no offense with that, of course!” he hurried to clarify, his eyes widening for a moment, especially when he saw the way she was staring at him.

“None taken. Relax, Peter,” she said on a soft voice. “I know this is exciting for you guys as it’s uncharted scientific territory. Just like when Vis was first created. I was there, you know… But I feel like… and tell me if I’m being nosy… that there’s something else that makes you restless.”

“How…. Err… It’s… Wow, you do have some kickass powers!” Peter laughed a bit nervously and dropped his eyes to stare at her hand on his which was resting on his thigh.

“I don’t need any powers to see that something’s going on. It’s just female intuition, I believe,” she smiled and patted his hand before pulling hers back. “Is this about Mr. Stark and you?”

That question surprised Peter so much that his head snapped up, eyes going wide from shock as he looked at Wanda. “What?! There’s nothing going on between us…” he stuttered, his cheeks turning pink.

“Peter… You are a bad liar. Besides I have eyes, you know. I’ve seen before how the two of you look at each other. And I also saw that embarrassed look the two of you exchanged just before we came up here. It’s okay to talk about it. I’m not judging.”

“You are… not?” Peter asked in turmoil, not knowing if he should confess or not. It would have been nice to talk about these things with someone who would actually understand and is a bit more… mature and less clueless than Ned. He loved his best friend very much, but yeah… Ned had zero experience when it came to relationships. And Peter felt that he was in dire need of some good advice. Talking to Aunt May was out of the question, of course!

“No, I’m not,” she said then paused for a moment before she sighed. “Let me tell you something, Peter… I had to face some judgment myself – and not just from others – when we first got together with Vis. Thanks to the fact that he is basically an android and AI, capable of learning everything – including emotions. You know, after our first kiss, I had to do some persuading of my own, because Vis wasn’t sure it was going to work and he also didn’t want me to have to face others judging us. We are different from humans. We are enhanced people with more serious tasks than average people could ever imagine. We live in constant danger, not knowing if we are going to return from the next mission. We live and love and age faster than humans. In a sense.”

“Yes… That makes sense… I feel older than I am too…” Peter said quietly, playing with his own fingers.

“It shows on you too. It’s in your eyes and face. You too struggle with those lost five years, don’t you?”

“Y-yes… You too?” Peter asked curious, perking up that beside Mr. Stark someone else would understand his feelings. Maybe even more since Wanda was snapped away then returned just like Peter. She went through the same, after all.

“Of course. Being back and knowing that five years have passed while we were gone is something that stresses and messes up the mind. I should know. After all I can manipulate minds or something,” she joked with a soft chuckle, Peter joining her. “I cannot find my place either, but I hope that once my love is back, it would be easier for me to deal with all of this while I focus on teaching and being with Vis.”

“So… you understand?”

“Yes. Love can come at unexpected times and in unexpected forms. Like me and Vision. Like you and Tony…” she said softly.

“Yeah…” Peter sighed and hung his head low. There was a long pause between them, Wanda waiting for him to continue as she felt there was more. “We finally kissed last night after an argument… But he… he fled. He still treats me like a kid and I’m sure he thinks it would be inappropriate to… start anything. Even if I could feel that he has feelings for me.”

“It is clear as day, Peter,” Wanda said and put a consoling hand on his back. “I’m sure like you, I can understand his reasoning too. Physically you are still underage, which could technically cause trouble to Tony, but you feel and are five years older than your age.”

“Exactly!” Peter exclaimed and met Wanda’s warm understanding look. It nearly choked him as it felt so nice that someone finally understood the emotional mess in him. “I’ve told him that before. That I feel like a 22-year-old trapped in a teenager’s body. It sucks, Wanda. Big time…” he sighed bitterly. “Plus there’s the fact that he’s married and has a daughter now too… Even if currently he’s away from them, he still has a family and I don’t want to ruin that for him. If anyone deserves a family and happiness, it’s Mr. Stark. He’s been through so much…”

“Yes, that’s true. But you both would be miserable if you didn’t address this situation. Did you talk with him since the kiss?” she asked softly.

“No… He left me there and avoided me ever since,” he said sadly.

“He’s probably just as confused as you are. But be the wiser one and go talk to him about this. If there’s something that I have learned from losing Vision is that life is short – especially ours – to waste time like this.”

“But what if… he still refuses me? I’ve… I’ve been in love with him for years,” he finally admitted out loud barely audible. With that it felt more real than ever and Peter let it sink in. He knew if Mr. Stark refused him for good, it would break him. “Maybe I should… dunno… try to bury this and move on…”

Wanda took a moment to let Peter calm down a bit. “If he refuses you, he’s the moron I’ve always suspected that he was,” she tried to half-joke, which made Peter chuckle a bit. “But you will never know if you don’t try. The Universe has its ways. Even if he might refuse you now, wait it out, Peter. Things happen with a reason. There are no coincidences. He might be just as afraid as you are. But things won’t move forward if you let your fears conquer you. Take a good look inside you and at your feelings. Then if you decide to go for this, show him how much you’ve grown and how serious you are about this. Talk to him. Don’t waste your precious time,” she finished with a reassuring smile, lightly caressing Peter’s shoulder.

Pausing for a moment, Peter returned that smile with a grateful one of his. “Thank you, Wanda. It’s great advice. I think I needed to hear all this,” he sighed. “Alright, I’ll bring you Dr. Strange’s book in case you find some more useful things in it then let you work. I’ll do some thinking and muster up my courage to talk to Mr. Stark…” he said with more resolve in his voice.

That made Wanda smile proudly at him. “Alright. And good luck, Peter. You are a very nice young man who deserves happiness. I cross my fingers for you,” she said lifting her hand to cross two of her ringed fingers.

“Thank you,” Peter chuckled and got up. “You’re a good friend, Wanda. And I cross my fingers for you and Vision too.”

She simply nodded and smiled at him then watched Peter walk out of her room. _Men_ … She hoped things would work out for them in the end.

***

While Wanda was learning in her room and Bruce refining and calibrating some biochemical aspects of the project in the lab, Tony had nothing else left to do. He could have stayed in the lab to tinker on something unrelated to the project, but he didn’t want to bother Bruce and frankly, he needed a little alone time now.

The house was alive now with the three guests he had and at times it felt a bit crowded to him. Not that four people in such a big house would count as a crowd – even with the Hulk-sized Bruce…

It was rather something in Tony’s mind. His private safe island was being invaded by strangers. It was not true, he knew that. None of these guys were strangers. He liked… even loved them around, but it was nice to just sit alone by the lit pool with a drink in hand, watching the blue and white lights moving the shadows around the water and listening to the night sounds of nature.

He also knew that his real problem wasn’t the fact that the other Avengers were in his house. It was mostly caused by Peter. More specifically by that kiss they shared the night before.

Tony couldn’t put it out of his mind ever since. Even work couldn’t help on it this time.

He knew it was so wrong to return that kiss, but Peter’s taste and the softness of his lips were lingering and frankly, driving him nuts. He was very not proud of himself that after getting drunk on more whiskey, he might or might not have touched himself from that memory…

He was disgusting… He never sank so low in his life – not even in his partying youth. For god’s sake, he could be his _father_! That right there is what has started it all! He wanted a protégé, a “substitute kid”… He got that and much more in Peter. And now he was in deep trouble. Because Peter… he very clearly reciprocated his feelings. Or at least some of them, judged by that very brave and very wrong kiss…

It was going to be so awkward and so much harder after this. He will have to put up his walls again and keep his distance. Especially when the kid’s autumn break ends and finally goes home. He has to bury these sinful urges and feelings next to the other ugly things he wasn’t proud of.

Tossing his drink back, he quickly refilled his glass and placed the bottle down on the ground next to the sunbed he was half-lying on with his ankles crossed.

“Cheers to that!” he toasted himself for that brilliant plan and took a sip.

“What are we celebrating?” he suddenly heard from his right, nearly making him choke on his drink. Instead he just lightly coughed once he managed to swallow it and looked up at the young man a bit surprised. He didn’t expect him to be brave enough to come to him after the way he had left him in the lab.

“Err… hello, kid. Just to some idea I had,” he shrugged nonchalantly and quickly took another sip, staring at the pool to collect himself.

“I see. Can we talk, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked a bit unsure and as Tony looked up at him again, he saw that he had his hands in his jeans’ pocket and was looking at the water too. “I think we should,” he added and caught Tony’s look. The seriousness and determination on the familiar face caught the older man off guard again.

“Yeah… Yeah we should,” he finally said and nodded towards the sunbed next to his. “I assume it’s not about the project…”

“No…” Peter said as he sat on said sunbed facing the other man. “It’s… about last night,” he added with a little blush.

Tony cleared his throat and hummed from behind the rim of his glass, eyeing the kid for a long moment. “I guessed so. Look, kid, there’s nothing much to talk about… I mean, it was clearly a mistake that cannot happen again,” he quickly said on the firmest voice he could muster up.

The pain caused by those words was clear on Peter’s face as he dropped his eyes then his expression changed. The young face closed up and Tony wasn’t able to read his emotions that well anymore. Not that he had to do much guessing to know that he was hurting the kid probably pretty badly. But he had to. To protect both of them.

“Why?”

That question came as a surprise and made him sit up, putting his legs on the ground as he turned in his sitting position to face the boy. “Why? Are you serious, kid? Don’t tell me you don’t know why…”

“I have a bunch of reasons you probably will list within a minute to tell me why this is such a bad idea. I’m not stupid, Mr. Stark…”

“That you are far from,” Tony agreed and tossed his drink back before putting the empty glass down next to him. With a sigh he ran a hand through his hair. “Kid, this is just so wrong and inappropriate…” he started, but Peter cut him off unexpectedly.

“No. For one, I am not a kid anymore. I thought we’ve already passed that…” he frowned. “Second, why is it wrong and inappropriate? Because you are older? Because we are both men? I don’t care! Wanda is right, we are different than average people. We don’t have time to waste as we can die any time. Like when the Snap happened. I had so much to tell you, but I’ve missed that opportunity…” Peter clenched his jaw.

“You might be right…” Tony puffed frustrated, trying to grasp at straws that would validate his point of view then when he found one, he straightened his back a bit as he looked at the boy. “I am married and have a daughter now…”

“I know. And I’d hate the thought of coming between you and them, but… I think you are doing that yourself,” he said out the cold truth, which shocked Tony as he didn’t expect it. “Where are they now? Why are you keeping your distance from them? Will you go back to them?”

Feeling some panic starting to rise in him, Tony clenched his jaw too and some anger flickered in his eyes. But he wasn’t angry at Peter for pointing out the truth. He was angry with himself. He was hurting people around him again with his actions and indecisions.

“I don’t know!” he shouted all of a sudden then inhaled deeply, his eyes meeting the patient ones. “I might not… They are better off without me. I’m too… burned out and messed up.”

“Not for me,” Peter stated firmly. “I’ve been in love with you for years, Mr. Stark. And it won’t change even if you try to keep your distance,” he admitted, his heart beating fast and loud, cheeks burning red, but he knew he had to be brave right now. He laid out his cards on the table.

“W-what?” Tony’s eyes widened in surprise and confusion.

“Wasn’t it obvious? They say I’m very bad at keeping secrets,” Peter laughed a bit bitterly. “Anyways, now you know. I love you, Mr. Stark and I want to be with you. You don’t have to say anything now. But you cannot deny that you have feelings for me too. I felt it from that kiss. Maybe it’s time you ask yourself what you want. Hide here and stay alone with your demons and desires, or give this a chance with someone who knows more about what you are going through and who could probably help to get through it,” Peter said on a serious tone and stood up, watching the speechless man.

“I’d like you to think about these and my wish to become your personal lab assistant. I’ll go home once we brought Vision back. Please, come see me once you have made your choice,” he said on a soft yet determined voice. It took everything from Peter to keep it together as he dreaded what Mr. Stark would react or say, but thought that giving him some time to digest the facts might be the right way. Plus, he didn’t want to listen to that list of objections…

This time Peter was the one who left behind a shocked and confused man.

 


	8. Ever slightly out of reach

**Chapter 8  
"Ever slightly out of reach"**

The next morning all four of them were gathered in the lab once they had breakfast. Tony and Bruce were checking everything on the holo-screens one last time while Peter was plugging in the additional power sources to the cradle. Vision’s colorless body was already lying inside. One glimpse was enough to see that the nearby standing Wanda was fighting her tears seeing her love that way again. But she tried to stay strong.

“All done here,” Peter said, holding up his thumb towards the other two men once he checked the displays on the cradle.

“Alright, Peter,” the big green professor said. “Load in the Vibranium too. It should be more than enough for this to work and repair the damage done to him by Thanos.”

The boy ignored the chill running down his spine caused by the mention of the Mad Titan’s name and he simply nodded and did as he was told then stood up. Both Peter and Wanda turned towards Tony when he started speaking.

“Wanda, are you ready for your memory transfer?”

“Yes, Tony,” she nodded determined, some of her scarlet powers already swirling around her hands and head.

“Good. Peter, get further back. Wanda will have to start her spell once we fire up the cradle. The plus juice of energy should be enough to reach 100%. When that happens, push the memories into his mind and overload the cradle with some more of your powers as they stem from a stone too,” he explained.

To that Peter retreated back to Stark and Banner then Wanda nodded again. “I am ready.”

“Okey-dokey… Friday, start up the cradle in ten seconds and count back for us, will ya?”

“Yes, boss!” the cheerful female voice said then began the countdown.

The second she reached zero, the cradle came into life and began working on repairing Vision’s forehead. Wanda did as instructed and while the older men were monitoring the progress on the screens, Peter watched in awe, mouth hung open a bit, how the scarlet energy began spreading around her. Wanda’s hands were moving in their usual strange gestures as she was controlling her power which reached into her mind and pulled small glowing orbs out of her head one by one. Soon many were floating around the witch, tied to a string of her power.

“Reaching 98%. Get ready, Wanda,” Tony said on a both tense and excited voice. This was what he loved doing. Pushing the limits of science.

For a moment Peter admired him then he looked back at the more and more glowing cradle. Those two minutes until they reached 100% felt like an eternity to all of them.

“Looking good so far!” Bruce said excited too.

“Now!” Stark exclaimed nearly right after that.

Wanda murmured a “now or never, my love” and pushed her hands out towards the cradle, with that all of the small glowing orbs pushing into Vision’s nearly fully repaired forehead just when the mechanical arms started to do the last touches on his skin.

“Overload it! Right now!” the billionaire shouted again as the lab’s ground started to shake a bit and the lights began flickering.

Peter’s senses were tingling, but he simply kept watching as the witch let more of her powers loose and surround the cradle, pushing into it.

In that moment a warning sign flashed up on the holo-screens about the overload, steam beginning to hiss out of the cradle to ease the pressure inside.

“Keep going!” Bruce said, eyes glued to the screen and Wanda did.

Right until all the lights went off for a few long moments then came back on, Wanda falling onto her knees as her powers pulled back into her. She was panting and took Peter’s offered hand as he was there in a second and helped her up.

Everyone stayed quiet as the steam began to evaporate around the cradle and the warning sign disappeared from the screens since the cradle effectively short-circuited.  All systems seemed to be rebooting and just when the one monitoring the cradle picked up on some life-signs, a red hand shot up against the glass of the cradle.

“Open it! Open it up!” Wanda yelled and Peter quickly punched a few buttons on the cradle’s side, which made the glass slide off.

They all held their breaths as they waited. Then the same hand appeared on the edge of the cradle and slowly Vision sat up. He had his colors back, forehead perfectly smooth without the stone, eyes filled with confusion as he looked around. Then settled on the woman whose elbow Peter was holding in case she needed his support.

“What happened… Wanda?” he asked from her.

That made her eyes well up and as the first few tears ran down on her pale face, she hurried to the cradle. “You… recognize me?”

“I… yes. I recognize you all,” he said to the full room. “I died…” he continued softly as the planted memories began settling in him.

“Yes…” Wanda said as she put a hand on Vision’s on the edge of the cradle, her tears flowing now freely.

“And you brought me back… Thank you,” he said to them then turned his hand to take Wanda’s in his in a gentle consoling manner.

“No biggie,” Tony said, seeing that everything seemed to be okay. “You should go and rest a bit until everything settles in your mind. Wanda will help you walk through everything that’s happened since that day in Wakanda,” he said as Peter and the witch helped Vision out of the cradle.

“That would be great,” Vision smiled down at her. “I might not feel yet how I felt back then, but I know what’s been between us and how devastated you were while I was gone. We should talk through many things.”

“Yes, my love,” Wanda whispered and walked out of the lab, supporting Vision.

“Well… that was a great success! We should celebrate!” Tony clapped his hands with a smirk, looking from Peter to Bruce.

“Good idea,” the professor said with a big white smile and both looked at Peter.

“You do that. I have to pack and catch a train back home,” the boy said with a neutral expression.

Tony’s smile melted off his face and his expression turned darker. “You sure, kid?”

Peter cringed from that question and didn’t look at the other two as he nodded. “Congratulations on the great job. I’ll see you two around. Keep an eye on Wanda and Vision and keep me posted about their progress,” he said then left too.

Bruce looked questioningly at Tony, but he ignored him, staring at the by then closed door, lost in thoughts.

***

Two hours ago the last oral exam he had to take concluded Peter’s early graduation exams. They did the written exams earlier and now he knew that he was going to get an impeccable diploma on their graduation ceremony.

Now Peter was working on the Millennium Falcon Lego piece while Ned was sitting cross-legged on the floor of his room, putting together the Ewok’s village. It was their way of celebrating their success. They were after the Italian pasta extravaganza May had made (the food turned out pretty great, actually) and were just hanging out like old times. They both knew that things would soon be different.

Ned passed too and they had both applied for MIT and were waiting on a feedback from the university. If they both get in, at least Peter will have a familiar face there. MJ decided not to rush her graduation but “threatened” them to visit in case they manage “by some miracle” to get accepted. Her words… Peter thought she was such a sweetheart under all that sarcasm.

“Okay, dude, enough is enough! Spill the beans. You’ve been moping ever since you came back from Mr. Stark. You should be proud of bringing Vision back. It’s wicked cool! It’s like… you are Igor and Mr. Stark Frankenstein… Though… the Hulk would qualify as Frankenstein’s monster too in this case…” he mused, easily getting sidetracked by his train of thoughts.

Peter snorted and shook his head. “You’re incorrigible, Ned…”

“I know,” his best friend said. “I also know when something bothers you. Don’t make me text MJ to harass it out of you. You know she can do that easily…”

“Oh please, don’t…” Peter rolled his eyes and flipped the piece of Lego he was holding in the air. “It’s… complicated.”

“Let me guess… It’s about Mr. Stark…”

“What?” Peter caught the piece mid-air then froze, avoiding Ned’s gaze. When did his friend get so observant?

“Dude, it’s clear as day. I just played dumb so far. But something’s happened and because our future is uncertain but definitely gonna change soon, I drop the act. You’re way past the having a crush on him phase. That happened like… when you started hanging out. Now it’s more serious. I can tell.”

“Damn, Ned. When...? Does everyone know? Is it so obvious?!” he gave up with a sigh.

“To me and MJ yes. Others I dunno. Luckily May is too lost in her own world, I think.”

“Luckily… yeah…”

“But she knows you like dudes too.”

“WHAT?!” Peter sat up straighter, concentrating on not snapping the Lego piece in half with his inhumane strength. “When did that happen?”

“Well… a while back I might have accidentally slipped up when she asked if you were down because of some girl. I might have used “him” and “crush on” in the same sentence, but she doesn’t know who it was about. She thought someone from school.”

“Well, thanks for making me come out to my only family without me knowing that it happened, geez…”

“I’m sorry, dude. I really am. It was a slip up. Didn’t mean to… I wanted to tell, but didn’t know how. It surprises me that it seems she didn’t confront you about it.”

“No, she didn’t say anything about it. Just… dropped a few comments about not being against bisexuality… Oh, now it all makes sense…” Peter frowned and dropped the Lego back onto his table where he’s been working.

“But that’s a good thing. She won’t freak out. And I’m really sorry,” Ned repeated.

“I know you are… And it’s okay. At least this way she probably had enough time to digest it,” the pale-skinned boy sighed again.

“Yeah… So… what’s up with Mr. Stark?”

“We kissed…”

“WHAT?!” It was Ned’s turn to cry out, but Peter shushed him, not wanting to alert May.

“Yeah… when we were arguing. And it was… so… amazing. Right up till the point when he fled.”

“Oh man… I’m sorry. What happened afterwards?”

After a brief summary, Peter continued. “I know the situation is very… complicated, but I’ve got fed up. But Ned… I could feel it that he has feelings for me too. He kissed back… It was so… Argh…”

“Duuude…” Ned got up to give Peter a hug from behind. “This sucks. No wonder you are pining over him now. He hasn’t contacted you since then?”

“He did…” Peter said once he was free of the bone-crushing hug (thank the universe for his super strength!). “But only to brief me about Vision and Wanda’s progress… He was brief and to the point in his chat messages. He didn’t even call… just texted. I’m such an idiot. I should let this go, I know. It would be easier for everyone, but I wanted to take Wanda’s advice and now everything’s just so messed up and I can’t do it back…”

“Well, you could if you went back in time…” Ned half-suggested.

“Nah… For one it cannot be done as we don’t have the equipment, and second, I don’t want to either. At least it’s out now. It was kind of a relief, you know. Not holding it in all the time.”

“I see… I just hope Mr. Stark will come to his senses and realize what he could win with you, dude.”

“Aw, you are the best, Ned. Thanks,” Peter smiled at his friend. He indeed was the best friend Peter could ask for. And at least from now on he could openly pine over Mr. Stark to Ned without being judged… That was kind of a big relief too for him…

Maybe if Mr. Stark is not going to contact him or say no in case he does, having Ned on his side and in the know will help him eventually move on. Maybe…


	9. I can't let you fade

**Chapter 9  
** **“** **I can't let you fade”**

  
[Source](https://technabob.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/spider-man.jpg)

Peter was gracefully crouching on a roof top, his masked face turned towards an old seemingly abandoned warehouse near the river. The light rain was falling steadily, making the drops run down on his waterproof suit. He was hoping to catch a bunch of guys red-handed. The gang was one of the few remaining ones which were dealing with modified alien weapons. And the last one in Queens. Peter was determined to stop them, because of the obvious threat those weapons meant.

Queens could feel the absence of the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man in the last five years. Whenever Peter wasn’t learning or doing other things, he was busy during his patrols. But this is what he really liked to do. This is what made him feel confident, because he knew what he had to do. Not like in the big league. Don’t get him wrong, he loved to work with the Avengers, but sometimes that felt like a too big bite for him. Even now post-Thanos. That fight… no, war… was something that was still sitting heavily on his mind. The nightmares were back again now that his anxiety about waiting for Mr. Stark’s answer was always in the back of his mind.

But he figured he couldn’t wallow in his self-pity and doubts. He had to do something useful. Helping people was the thing that always worked for the young man. Getting back to that felt like coming home.

He perked up as a truck turned onto the dirty street and pulled to a stop by the entrance of the warehouse. Karen was quick to scan its inside for him, detecting the illegal ware he was looking for. She also scanned the building before, marking eighteen guys inside and two in the truck. This was the biggest gang he had to deal with so far and it was clearly still continuing the Vulture’s work during these years. It didn’t matter how they managed to do that, it had to come to a stop tonight.

Once the truck disappeared in the building and the entrance locked, Peter shot a string of web and quietly swung on top of the warehouse. He already knew the route he was going to take and soon he climbed through a broken window. He was moving around noiselessly, taking out the guys on the second floor one by one. Immobilized with his web and knocked out with sleeping darts to keep them from making noises.

All was going well as he finished with half of the guys but then the next fell against a crate near the edge of the platform he was standing on and he knocked down said crate onto the ground floor. It landed with a loud crash, its contents (some metal scraps) scattered on the floor below. Of course, it right away alerted the criminals below and while Peter was busy dealing with the guy in front of him, the rest grabbed their weapons.

“It’s Spider-Man! Gear up, guys! Let’s grill his sorry ass for meddling into our business!” the leader shouted as he picked up a big gun, which had parts glowing in blue.

The next moment – just when he managed to tie up the guy he’s been dealing with – the warehouse got filled with yells, loud noises and colorful lights as everyone below seemed to focus their fire power in Peter’s direction.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…_

That was Peter’s mantra as the platform gave way and despite the fact that he shot some web to swing away from the dangerous fire, one shot severed his web and he plummeted down onto the floor below. Thanks to his spider reflexes, he landed on his hands and feet, but had to move quickly to find some cover.

A few big crates seemed to do the trick and he quickly took down three more of the guys with his web shooters. But then all of a sudden a blast sent him flying backwards and into an iron pillar, which groaned and bent behind his back from the force of the impact.

Peter moaned painfully and flopped onto his face, his back hurting like a motherfucker. If he was a mere human, it would have surely broken his spine. Smoke filled his nose as some small fires broke out from the blasts of the guns and his Spidey-senses were tingling like crazy. Not that he needed them to tell that he was in danger.

“He’s down! Now is our chance! Come on, guys!” the leader yelled.

The next moment a crate was smoking and concrete flew everywhere at the spot Peter was lying previously. But he was already swinging through the air, landing on top of a guy, who lost his balance and fell on his back with a surprised yell. Peter quickly shot some web at him, sticking him to the floor.

“It’s not so nice to welcome your guest this way. Didn’t you know shooting at them like this is rude?” he yelled mid-swing towards the next man and barely avoided a blue laser-like blast of his, which left a smoking hole in the side of the building.

He managed to take down that guy too, but his next quirky remark died in Peter’s throat when a fiery blast hit him from the side, making him roll a few times on the floor. His suit was torn open and smoking, the pain in his side quickly burning through his senses, which made Peter hiss. He didn’t see this one coming.

“Severe damage detected. Suit unable to repair itself,” he heard Karen’s update and saw her flash up a picture of the damaged part of the suit with some statistics on the side.

“Thanks for the update, Karen. I felt that damage alright,” he wheezed under his breath. For the first time that night it crossed Peter’s mind that maybe it was a bad idea to come here alone without backup. Especially since he knew the kind of alien tech these men could turn against him.

“Incoming attack from five o’clock,” Karen warned the next moment.

Peter managed to roll out of the way in the last second, but the blast made him fly into some crates. He yelped as some of the crates fell on top of him, sending a cloud of dust into the air which was already thick with smoke, making it harder for the remaining criminals to see through. Peter hissed again, feeling that his shoulder got dislocated and his right arm started tingling.

“Is he dead?” a goon shouted as they ceased fire for a moment. The sudden silence was deafening in itself.

“Fuck knows! Get closer but be careful. He’s a sneaky little fucker…” the leader growled.

“Peter, you have to move. They are getting closer,” Karen said softly in his ear.

“I’m going to… Just have to make them come a bit closer…” he whispered, readying his web shooters as he could see out from the crates.

He was waiting for the right moment and when his senses told him it was time, he shot webs on the guns the men were aiming in his direction. In two seconds the webs blew on the guns, rendering them useless and land on the floor with some loud clatters as the men threw them down in their surprise.

Peter used their confusion and shot a string up to the iron supporting beam near the roof. He shot up from between the crates like a rocket and changed directions mid-air, this time targeting the leader.

His right arm hung mostly numb by his side, but the adrenalin didn’t let him feel the pain in the heat of the moment. He was falling fast towards the leader, but he pulled his sparkling gun at him with an ugly smirk on the bearded face.

“Shit…” Peter mumbled as the blue light intensified with some electric crackling and then the blast hit him right in the chest, making him fall towards the floor like a rock.

“System overcharged! Warning! Heart failure detected!” Karen’s voice was ringing in Peter’s mind as he was falling, which felt like it was happening in slow motion. His muscles were seizing as the electricity kept rushing through him and the suit. If the suit wasn’t damaged by his side, it would’ve absorbed the blast, but now the electricity shocked Peter through his exposed side.

He didn’t feel the impact as he bounced back a bit from the concrete. His body tensed up, fingers curled in the air as the shocks kept going through him. Then the last thing he remembered was the familiar sounds of the charging up thrusters and he thought he saw Iron Man fly into the picture. But maybe it was wistful thinking or an illusion his oxygen-deprived mind and burning lungs created.

Then it was total darkness. Like when he had turned to dust…

***

“Tony… you should try to eat and rest,” Wanda said softly, putting a gentle hand on the worried man’s shoulder. They probably never saw Tony’s face so dark like in the last few days.

“I’ll be fine once he comes around.”

“The cradle is healing him. He’ll pull through. Give it some time,” she whispered with a faint accent.

There was a pause in the conversation.

“He nearly died. Again. I won’t leave his side,” the determined voice said to which the woman sighed softly. He left out the “because of me” part.

“Very well. I’ll get you something to eat.”

Then silence. Only the soft humming and quiet occasional beeps of the cradle could be heard in Tony’s lab after Wanda has left.

“You stupid kid…” Tony murmured after a while, putting a hand on the glass on top of the cradle as he checked on the pale and naked unconscious man. “Friday, report!”

“Yes, boss. Vitals are strong. The regeneration process continues without problems… He’s healing well, boss…” the AI’s voice took a softer tone towards the end.

“Good. That’s good…” the man mumbled as his eyes slid from the deep purple shoulder to the extensive burn on Peter’s side. “What about the burn? Will it scar?” he asked watching the mechanical arms working on that area with their reconstructing beams.

“Factoring in Mr. Parker’s fast healing and the cradle’s capabilities, no. The burn will completely heal. No scarring to be expected.”

“Good,” Tony repeated himself with relief. He had asked these questions before, but he had to make sure. He had to hear that Peter was going to be okay. His shocked heart was already healed and beating steadily and strong.

The memory of getting Karen’s distress signal and then landing next to the seizing then lifeless body of Peter was burned into his mind. Adding to his nightmare-inducing, quite extensive repertoire of bad memories. He had to use his suit’s built in defibrillator to restart Peter’s heart. For one and a half agonizingly long minutes he was dead again…

And Tony blamed himself for that. Again. Because he was too scared to face his own feelings and needs and let the boy hanging. Waiting for his answer and going to reckless missions of his own to play the hero.

If he had just… already given him his answer, he could’ve been there. Or Peter here with him. And now Tony dreaded the possibility that he would never get the chance to give the kid his answer. Even if all signs were telling him that Peter was going to be okay once he wakes up…

He was feeling so old for this. He wanted nothing more but peace by then. Too much excitement, too much worrying… too many losses. He swore to himself again and again that he wouldn’t let Peter die again. Now he failed him. Again.

It made Tony reach up to rub his eyes with the fingers of his right hand. He may or may not have smeared a tear or two as he took a ragged breath.

“You have to stop doing this to me, kid… Heal up and then I’ll give you my answer. Hear me?” he said, plopping back on the plastic chair he had pulled up to the cradle and stared at Peter’s steady vitals and peaceful-looking face projected into the air.

He has to finally man up and face himself. Face those dark desires and his feelings for Peter. No matter how inappropriate they might be in the eyes of “normal people”. He couldn’t run from them anymore. He couldn’t run from _himself_ anymore.


	10. You boil in my veins

**Chapter 10  
** **"You boil in my veins"**

Peter woke up in a familiar room, but it took some time for his mind to realize where he was. Mr. Stark's secluded house. It confused him a bit as the last memory he had was the pain piercing through him from the electric shock. Then darkness. He was fighting in that warehouse but how did he end up here? Probably things went south... Apparently... He moved his hand to touch the still bandaged up side of his. It didn't hurt but was sore and tender to the touch. Did Iron Man save him?

"Karen... What happened to me?" he whispered hoarsely and slowly sat up in the comfortable bed to reach for the glass of water and double Aspirin waiting for him on the nightstand. It did feel like a truck went through him. His muscles were sore and tired, his brain a bit slower than usual.

"You've got hit by a big electric charge from one of the modified alien weapons. The previous damage on the side of your suit left you exposed to that shock and it stopped your heart. Mr. Stark got there right in time to disarm the remaining attackers then resuscitated your body. Afterwards you were brought here and put into the cradle to help your physical body heal. You've got out of the cradle yesterday and been monitored from this room ever since," the AI said. "Everyone was worried about you. Especially Mr. Stark. He barely left your side," the voice added while Peter removed the IV from his arm and the different pads from his chest and temples, making the equipment around him beep like crazy. "I'm not sure you should remove those..." Karen started, but Peter waved her off.

"I'm fine. I'll live..." he said drinking the remaining water after sliding to the edge of the bed to switch off the devices. It felt as if he was in hospital and he hated that. Instead he carefully got up on his legs, glad that aside from some trembling they could carry his weight towards the bathroom.

After taking a piss and washing his teeth, he took a look in the mirror. He was only in some boxers, the bandage around his torso and some mostly healed cuts and bruises visible on his arms, chest and back, his previously dislocated shoulder looking and feeling good too by then. Otherwise he was in one piece. The young man started peeling off the bandage to take a look at his side too, ignoring Karen's disapproving comments. His side looked interesting with all the colors of the rainbow. The middle of the wound was like new tissue – probably thanks to the regenerating cradle – and the edges going from purple to green and yellow, depending on the stage of healing.

With a sigh he dropped his boxers on the floor too and stood under the shower. He needed one badly. Not just to smell less like disinfectant but to maybe wash away the bad memories of his failure. Because he had failed and probably angered everyone. Especially Mr. Stark...

By the time he got out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and steam following him through the open door, it was starting to get dark outside. Some water drops were still glistening on his naked and toned upper-body as he stopped in his tracks, his eyes meeting a haunted pair of brown ones. Mr. Stark was sitting on the end of his bed, hair tousled, looking as if he's been running his fingers repeatedly through it with worry.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack when Friday said your vitals stopped..." he finally said once he could stop staring at Peter.

"Sorry..." he mumbled just standing there, not knowing what to do now. Then with a sigh he walked over to the bed and carefully sat down next to the other man.

"I was very... worried. It was a reckless and very stupid move to go against that gang alone..." Tony started.

"Mr. Stark..." Peter sighed bitterly, but the older man cut him off.

"... but I know it's my fault. You probably wanted to feel useful and perhaps distract your mind while I stretched out too long to give you my answer..."

That made Peter's eyes widen. He expected a litany of how stupid he was and how he should have asked for help and so on. Instead Mr. Stark seemed to have developed the ability to read his mind. Because he was spot on...

"I... I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to do this alone and make you all worry. Thank you for saving my life... again."

Tony sighed from that and turned his head to look at the sad profile of the beautiful boy. "Of course, Underoos. I'll always try to do that. Because you are important to me," he whispered then cleared his throat. "I care for you a lot... and I have... _feelings_ for you. More than a mentor or father figure should..." he finally admitted, watching as Peter's eyes went wide again and he looked at him hopefully.

"I know... but.... where does this leave us?" he asked and Tony could tell that he really wanted to ask what his answer was to the question he had asked weeks ago. He could see the nervousness mixing with hope and fear on the pale face. He couldn't torment Peter like this anymore...

"Look... we both know why this is wrong and a bad idea..." he started, seeing how Peter's expression began to harden and his eyes drop to somewhere around Tony's chest. Probably not being able to look into his eyes while he rejects him. "But we are clearly attracted to each other and have feelings that shouldn't be there. But for some reason they are still there against all the odds. I've been thinking about this and what you said about life being short and us living it surrounded by danger every day. You and Wanda were right. I've been fighting this for quite some time, because I still think it's inappropriate, but I'm too old and tired to keep fighting myself. I'm sorry I'm so fucked up and broken, but for some reason you still love me and want me..." he put his index-finger under Peter's chin to lightly tip it up until their eyes met again. Swallowing hard, the always confident Tony Stark had to take a deep calming breath to be able to utter the next words. "I was so scared that I would lose you again. Because I love you too, Peter Parker. And... against my better judgment... I cannot stop thinking about giving this... whatever this is... a try. I cannot hold myself back from you anymore..."

Peter gasped for air from this confession and it was nearly painful how hard his heart started beating all of a sudden. Was he dreaming? Was he still unconscious? Was this another wicked joke of fate? He quickly pinched his arm to make sure it was real.

"Ouch..." he mumbled because the pain was real and he was still sitting there.

"What are you doing?" Mr. Stark frowned confused.

"Making sure I'm not dreaming..."

That put a smile on Tony's face and he leaned in to press a soft kiss against Peter's lips. "Did this feel real enough?" he asked slightly out of breath, his eyes glowing with warmth.

"I'm not sure... Maybe we should repeat it... to be absolutely sure..." he said with a playful glint in his eyes and this time it was Peter who kissed the other man, opening his mouth for him.

Tony quickly got on with the program and slid his tongue into the willing mouth, moaning from the mixed taste of mint and Peter, his hand stroking a flushed cheek then sliding down on the bare neck to gently grip the boy's mostly healed up shoulder. Hearing the light hiss of pain because his fingers lightly dug into some healing bruises, Tony wanted to let him go, but Peter protested.

"No... I like a little bit of pain..." he confessed against Tony's lips and licked them to coax out another kiss.

It made the older man's head spin a bit. Not just the neediness of the young boy, but also the fact that he loved some pain. "Dare to be more perfect, Peter Parker..." he chuckled low and a bit dark as he pulled the flexible body onto his lap, the damp towel riding up dangerously on the long and strong thighs.

Peter was eager to sit on top of the older man to cup his face with both hands, moaning into the kiss from feeling the growing bulge under him. It was as if his body was coming alive on its own, making his hips lightly buck against the trapped cock, his own filling rapidly from the exciting kiss and the friction. He slid his hands down on Mr. Stark's chest, feeling under his palm how fast his heart was beating too, mirroring his own. Then he grabbed the edge of the old Metallica T-shirt and pulled it over his soon-to-be lover's head. Because he wanted that. He wanted to go all the way. Right now. Right here. He's been waiting for so long... And even if he was a bit unsure and shy, he was too far gone to back out of this. Because he wanted this so badly. He wanted to become Mr. Stark's.

Tony moaned into their hungry kiss. This kid... he was like his personal brand of drug. He couldn't get enough of his sweet taste, his scent, his curious touches on his chest, that beautiful body rocking against his, making him so damn hard in his pants... He outright moaned once he felt Peter's slightly trembling fingers opening his belt and jeans. That made the red haze of lust thicker on Tony's mind and he grabbed the towel to finally toss it somewhere on the floor. Having the fully naked Peter sitting on his lap like this was so... hot and sinful. He had to look...

So he let the flushed boy hide his face in his neck for a second while he looked down between the pale thighs. He was long and erect and damp at the tip. Tony had to touch him... He watched his fingers wrap around the velvety skin, making Peter moan desperately, his hips unwittingly bucking into his fist as Tony's thumb smeared a few drops of pre-cum around the sensitive tip.

"You're beautiful, Peter..." he said hoarsely, slowly pumping the pulsing cock in his hand. "Were you with a man before?" he had to ask to know how to proceed. Because he wanted that so much. They were beyond the point where they could stop this. "Do you want to go all the way with me? Be honest, my boy..."

The room tilted and more blood rushed into Peter's cock from the way Tony called him. Somehow it moved something deep inside of him. _'My boy..._ ' Yes. Yes he was! For some reason this time it didn't bother him that he was called as a boy. This time it was so... darkly exciting...

He could feel his face burning even more and was glad that he could hide it in the fragrant neck. He nipped and kissed the warm skin there time after time as he tried to give Mr. Stark a coherent answer. "I'm a virgin, Mr. Stark. I only shared a few kisses with girls. But I never had sex with anyone..." he admitted and hurried to reassure that he wanted it now. "But I want to go all the way with you. I've been dreaming about this for so long... I want you to... fuck me..." he moaned and a shiver ran down his spine hearing the hoarse moan from Mr. Stark, letting his free hand fist in his still damp and messy hair, pulling on it lightly to make Peter look at him.

Tony had no words to just how beautiful the boy was in that moment. So willing and needy. Pupils blown by lust, naked body trembling from desire and anticipation. He wanted to remember this picture, this look forever. And knowing that he was fully untouched... It made him start to lose his mind even more. Especially because Peter seemed to like being dominated by him. Damn... this boy was indeed perfect for him...

He let his hand from Peter's hair slide down onto his ass, grabbing and squeezing the firm butt then teasingly rubbing his fingertips against the tight hole. He watched with a smug smirk as it made Peter gasp for air and moan softly as his eyes rolled back into his head. He looked so wanton like that. "Have you ever played with your hole?"

"Y-yes... I was curious," Peter bit his swollen bottom lip, cheeks turning a deeper shade of red as he shyly looked down at him. It made Tony growl approvingly. "I... I've been keeping myself clean for a while too... In hopes of..."

"What? Say it..."

"In hopes of you eating me out and fucking me..."

"Jesus, Peter! You're killing this old man..." he groaned and grabbed the boy to turn him on his back, careful not to hurt his side or shoulder.

"I hope not, because I need you... Can I please call you 'daddy' or 'sir'?"

That question shocked Tony for a moment then a wide grin appeared on his face. "I see someone's been interested in BDSM..."

"I... yes.... I did some research and watched some porn to realize I like the concept and would want to try it... I fucked myself fantasizing about you dominating me..." he breathed red as a tomato but knew enough about sex that honesty was the best way in such situations and he didn't want to hide anything from Mr. Stark.

"You are kinkier than you look... I like that," Tony said while standing up and kicking off his shoes, his eyes feasting on the gorgeous naked body on display in front of him. Peter was breathtaking even with his healing wounds. Young and eager. Flushed cock oozing pre-cum onto the flat muscular stomach, strong pale thighs slightly open. He was the pure picture of sin and innocence wrapped into one beautiful package. The darkness in Tony roared with triumph again because he finally got the permission to do unspeakable things to this willing young man. But he also knew that he had to first ease Peter into this. To make their first time good, leaving him wanting more... Later they would have to have a long conversation about this and their limits and how they should do this. But now they were too hungry to finally become one.

Tony's patience was slowly wearing thin too so he quickly got rid of the remaining clothes he had on, watching Peter watch his rock-hard bobbing cock as he crawled over the boy and let their naked bodies press together, cocks lining up to rub together. It made them both moan and pant for air as the older man began lightly rocking against the boy.

"Look at me," he whispered and once Peter did, he pecked his slightly parted lips. "We will talk about this in depth another time. But yes, you can call me either way. And I promise I'll make you feel so good. No need to worry or be scared. I'll take good care of you..." he murmured and after licking his slightly calloused palm, he reached between them to take both cocks into his hand, pumping them slowly and – in Peter's opinion – very excitingly.

"Thank you, sir..." he panted, earning an approving growl from Mr. Stark. "But I don't know... how long I'll last if you keep this up..." he warned, pressing his head into the mattress, hands curling into fists around the sheets as his hips kept lightly bucking into that tight grip and against the other cock. Feeling Mr. Stark like this was a wet dream come true.

Tony chuckled low from that, knowing that Peter's young blood and inexperience would probably make him come faster. "It's okay. You come as many times as you need and whenever you want. I want you to enjoy this to the fullest. No need to hold back. We'll get to that later," he grinned darkly and began kissing down the boy's neck, paying thorough attention to the small erect nipples.

Peter thought he would really die now that his dreams were coming true. All the new sensation his body was receiving was starting to overwhelm him and he knew they've just started... His soft moans and the quiet wet sounds of Mr. Stark's kisses and jerking broke the silence of his room, turning Peter on even more. Finally... finally he was where he wanted to be! Mr. Stark wanted him back! He loved him back! He wanted to try this too! He was on cloud nine. Peter was so happy that he could've cried. But instead he moaned and cursed low as he suddenly felt Mr. Stark's hot and wet mouth wrap around his aching shaft.

No one and nothing could've prepared him for that intense feeling. He cried out surprised and even bucked his hips, sliding deeper into that hot mouth. He felt Mr. Stark's hands hold him down by his hips, a non-verbal signal to not move. Peter did his best as more and more of his throbbing cock got swallowed by the skilled mouth, that evil tongue playing wildly on the underside of his shaft. It. Was. Mind-blowing! So intense! He had to look down to see Mr. Stark's mouth working him. He nearly fainted from the sight, especially from noticing the intense gaze locked onto his flushed face to see his reactions... Then Mr. Stark did something that nearly made Peter sit up and want to stop him because it was so damn intense he nearly lost it right there. So this is how being deep-throated felt!

Peter didn't remember when his fingers ended up in Mr. Stark's hair or when he started moaning like a dying man. All he could focus on was the intense pleasure the tight swallowing throat gave him. Massaging and wanting to milk him as Tony was swallowing around him repeatedly.

"S-sir... I'm gonna... _Oh god_!" Peter cried out his warning and the other man only had enough time to pull half-way out so he could suck all the squirting cum out of the pulsing shaft, swallowing every last drop until Peter dropped back onto the bed panting and trembling wildly.

Tony crawled up on him with a smug smirk and nipped at Peter's panting lips until he kissed him back, tasting himself on his tongue with a few moans. "You liked that?" he asked with a lopsided smirk, eyes glistening with pride and satisfied as he caressed a warm cheek, watching Peter bite down on his lip, slightly arching his back for a moment. 

"Very much, Sir... Can I get more?" he whispered, lowering his eyelids to literally bat his eyelashes at the older man.

"Dear god... You're gonna be the death of me, my hungry boy..." Tony groaned and stole another passionate kiss. "You can. Now be a good boy and stay like this. Daddy's gonna be right back," he said and quickly crawled off the bed, pulling his jeans and T-shirt back on. He grinned from noticing Peter's gaze on his obvious bulge before he slid out of the room. Luckily Wanda and Vision lived in the furthest part of the house from there so it took no time for Tony to fetch what he needed from his own room.


	11. We're going down in flames

**Chapter 11  
** **“We’re going down in flames”**

This gave Peter some time to process what just happened and he couldn't wipe the wide smirk off his face as he lazily kept stroking his flat stomach. This was real... Mr. Tony Stark just sucked him off! And was going to fuck him now! Take his virginity and make him a real man! His lover... _his boy_! God, even that thought made his spent cock start to come alive again. Thank fuck for his quick regeneration abilities. He also felt himself much better. Less sore and more healed up. Looking down at his side, it also looked a bit better. Could it be that sex and happiness sped up his healing too? He wouldn't be surprised anymore if it was the case.

But now all he cared about was Mr. Stark slipping back into his room, turning the key in the lock so they wouldn't be bothered by anyone. Somehow that gesture sent a hot wave of lust down into Peter's groin as he watched the gorgeous man strip again, tossing a bottle of lube and a condom onto the bed next to him.

Peter's pulse picked up again as his eyes met Mr. Stark's while he was standing there naked by the foot of the bed once more, one hand lazily stroking his erection. It took everything from Peter not to stare at that and keep the eye-contact.

"Show yourself to me while you touch yourself. No need to be shy. I’ll worship every part of your body anyways,” Tony said on a voice so thick with lust that it alone made Peter moan and blush some more.

But he obeyed nonetheless, sliding a hand onto his awakening cock and opening and pulling his legs up. His heart was beating erratically. He felt so very exposed and vulnerable there but the hungry look he saw on Mr. Stark’s face was so worth it. It also burned itself into his mind. Just like the sight of the wiry muscles and the pale scars on Mr. Stark’s upper-body, the most prominent the one in the middle of his chest where the arc reactor used to be to keep him alive. Peter ached to touch it. To map out all the scars one by one, but he knew he would have time for that later.

“Beautiful…” Tony murmured, feeling more comfortable in his dominant role as the walls between them were slowly crumbling down, bonding them deeper and deeper with every minute now that they both accepted what was between them and stopped fighting it. Or more like Tony stopped fighting it. Peter had made it clear much earlier what he wanted. And he was going to give it to the boy…

That picture of Peter stroking his cock and exposing himself so shamelessly to him was messing with his mind so damn much. He smeared more pre-cum down his throbbing cock then knee-walked between the open legs.

Reaching out with both hands, he stroked the long thighs lovingly, feeling the slight trembling in them. It was clear that Peter was just as messed up from this like him. Maybe even a bit scared from the unknown, but Tony had promised him that he would give him only pleasure.

So he leaned down and while Peter kept slowly stroking himself hard, the older man’s tongue darted out to finally taste that inviting hole. He felt it clench then relax against his tongue and a broken moan from above made him chuckle and puff his hot breath against the sensitive skin. Then he began driving Peter crazy with rimming him in earnest. Lapping and sucking and kissing at said hole, his goatee rubbing against the pale skin, his tongue slowly pushing deeper and deeper to open up the boy. He took his time, making sure he only felt pleasure and no discomfort. And judging by the out of breathy moans, he was on the right path.

Indeed, Peter was lost in these new sensations, slowly but surely giving himself to them, his body relaxing more and more.

 _This. Is. Real. Mr. Stark is rimming me_ , he thought, already feeling like losing his mind. He didn’t know how much more sensitive he was thanks to his Spidey-senses, but this felt pretty damn intense to him too. But he swore to himself that he was going to last longer this time.

Moaning with pleasure, he pushed a small pillow under his head to be able to watch that hot picture of Tony Stark rimming him so enthusiastically. This time with closed eyes, fully concentrating on what he was doing. That amazing tongue swirling in Peter, making his thighs tremble more. Then he looked up and let Peter watch as he slicked up his fingers with some lube.

“Relax, Peter. It’s gonna be amazing. I promise. I want you to keep breathing and if you feel any discomfort, just push against my finger. It works,” he winked and slowly started sliding his middle-finger inside while his lips found Peter’s balls to kiss and suckle on them as a distraction.

Not that Peter would need that, because he loved the way that finger pushed deeper and deeper, pressing against his walls. He was familiar at least with that feeling as he had fingered himself before. He knew how to slowly move against it, taking deep breaths in-between some soft moans.

“Such a good boy…” he heard Mr. Stark and it sent shivers down his spine again, his hips bucking a bit faster against the exploring finger. He slowed that down only when he felt the second stroke along his rim then it slid inside too, starting to stretch him for real now.

The deeper Mr. Stark was working in his fingers, the more frequent Peter’s moans became. His hips soon joined in again and soon he was shamelessly fucking himself on the slick fingers.

“Feels so good, Sir… So very good…” he panted, making Tony chuckle darkly.

“Oh I’ll make it even better, don’t you worry, my sweet boy…” he murmured and lined up a third finger, slowing down his fingering until he worked that in too then he finally curled all three to rub against Peter’s prostate. He expected the loud yell of pleasure and the harder buck against his fingers and it put a pleased half-smirk on his bearded face. “That’s right, Peter…”

“Yes! Right there, Sir! Please, don’t stop!” he begged beautifully, making Tony’s cock throb impatiently, but he held his own desires back for now. He wanted to focus only on the spread out boy in rapture.

“Here?” he teased, rubbing his fingers a bit harder and longer against that spot.

“YES!” Peter cried out, not caring if anyone heard them. It was so much more intense than when he did this to himself! “Please, Sir! More!”

The older man cursed under his breath from that begging and an evil plan unfolded in his mind. “Alright, Pete. I’ll give it to you, but you have to promise something for Daddy…”

“Anything, Sir…” the young man forced himself to look down into the lust-filled eyes, loving the dominance he saw in them too.

“Be a good boy and come on my fingers as I milk your prostate. Don’t hold back. You can keep stroking yourself if you want. But don’t hold back. I want to see your pleasure.”

All that dirty talk made Peter’s mind blow and he eagerly nodded, squeezing his already leaking cock harder while his other hand reached down to grab his own thigh, bracing himself for it. He had seen enough porn to know what Mr. Stark was talking about.

“Let me hear it…”

“Yes, Sir,” Peter swallowed hard with a deep blush, lightly bucking his hips against the still buried fingers, his ass tightening around them for a moment.

“That’s more like it…” Tony murmured then pulled his fingers out until only the tips stayed in. He thrust them in and out a few times, holding Peter’s gaze. Then his smirk returned as he admired the desperate expression appearing on the young face the second his fingers began rubbing that pleasure spot mercilessly. He loved the way his swollen mouth opened on a series of loud moans, head dropping back, his whole body trembling and tightening around his fingers.

Tony let his eyes wander down from the sweaty and flushed face to the jerking hand, listening to the wet sounds. He saw how Peter was starting to ooze more pre-cum again as his fingers kept rubbing that sweet spot in him.

Then Tony groaned approvingly as the boy suddenly squirted some clear prostate fluid onto his abs, that gorgeous ass tightening around his fingers over and over as the first micro orgasm shook Peter’s body, his moans becoming desperate, his ass slamming back against his fingers.

He was so… breathtaking in his rapture! And such a good, good boy to him…

After another small orgasm, Tony slowed his fingering down to let Peter catch his breath then pulled them out, wiping them carelessly into the sheet. Then he crawled over the boy and leaned down to slowly lick up the clear fluid with long strokes of his tongue.

“ _Daddy_ …” Peter whined quietly and needy for the first time, making goose bumps raise on the older man all over. Being called like that by Peter was… such a turn on that Tony had to squeeze the base of his cock hard not to lose it.

“I know. Patience, my good boy. We’re nearly there,” he promised and finished cleaning him up, even licking along the still hard cock.

Peter was so gone for this man. He could barely think coherently by then. Mr. Stark could’ve done anything to him and he would let him. He was drunk on desire and sex and this man, slipping so deeply that he forgot about everything else. Only Mr. Stark existed in Peter’s universe and he needed him more than ever. To ease the burning. To make him finally his!

“Please…” he nearly sobbed at that point, swallowing hard although his mouth was so dry from all the panting and moaning.

“Shhh, I know. Come, drink a bit. Staying hydrated is important,” the older man said on a soothing voice and quickly refilled Peter’s glass, making him drink half of the water then he drank the rest.

“You have no idea how perfect you are. So responsive. So open and curious. _So good_ ,” Tony kept praising the innocent boy while caressing his hair and kissing his face and lips. “Turn on your good side, Pete…” he said hoarser than before. It was time. He couldn’t hold back anymore either.

Crawling off the lean body, he watched Peter obey without hesitation, slightly pulling his leg up towards his chest to expose his pink and wet hole. He indeed had seen enough gay porn to know how to make him look irresistible for the other man, who had to take a shaky breath, one hand stroking along that thigh before he took the bottle of lube and squirted a good amount onto his fingers. He watched Peter reach down to grab his butt cheek to eagerly expose his hole some more.

“Jesus, kid…” Tony growled low from that and just when his fingers smeared the warmed up lube against and into the hole, their eyes met. There was no fear just lust in them. And so much hunger to finally become his… It made even the very experienced man swallow hard as he made sure he worked plenty of the lube into Peter. Then he reached for the small rectangle package.

“No!” he suddenly heard and he looked at Peter questioningly. “I want to feel you fully. I trust you. You know I’ve never been with anyone and I doubt I could catch anything anyway as I haven’t been sick since that spider bit me, so…”

“Are you sure? I am clean, but… are you sure?” Tony raised a brow. What he said made sense, but he needed him to say it.

“Yes. Absolutely,” Peter nodded eagerly a few times.

Tony hesitated only for a moment then tossed the condom on the nightstand and finally laid behind Peter, leaning down to kiss him. “Very well…” he murmured against the sweet lips and made a quick job of slicking himself up well. The thought of fucking Peter bare made Tony shiver again. Then finally he positioned his cock against the tight opening, rubbing his tip against it a few times. “Remember… breathe through it, Pete…” he whispered, pressing a kiss against the flushed cheek and began steadily pushing in.

A long moan left Peter as the pressure intensified then suddenly eased up as Mr. Stark’s cock head pushed past his entrance, gently sliding deeper as he kept rocking his hips against him. He never stopped kissing his neck and mostly healed up shoulder, the slightly calloused hand stroking his stomach, arm and thigh as he was working himself deeper.

Peter felt so full already, but every time he thought Mr. Stark was fully in, he gave him another inch, making him moan his head off in the process. He turned his head and panted onto the wet lips, his hand sliding back onto the other man’s thigh only when he finally stilled in him. As they kissed and let his body adjust to the hard cock buried deep inside him, Peter knew why the other man wanted him on his side. For the first time it was easier for him to take Mr. Stark like this as his muscles were the most relaxed in this position and his first time would be painless. For this he loved him even more.

They shared another gentle kiss and afterwards he nodded to the questioning look, earning a warm smile from Mr. Stark before he felt the cock sliding half-way out then slowly pushing back in. Peter’s nerve endings were firing up and he closed his eyes on a deep moan, letting Mr. Stark nip at his bottom lip and keeping a close eye on him. He didn’t have to look to feel that hot gaze as the deep but slow thrusts continued, stretching him even more with a few circling of his hips.

The broken moans stayed and he squeezed the other man’s hand on his thigh encouragingly. “I won’t break, Tony…” he whispered between the parted lips, not realizing that he called him like that for the first time in this situation, falling out of his role for a moment. It seemed that it did things to the other man, because he gasped for air and paused for a moment.

“I know…” And Tony did know. The boy’s body was much stronger and at the same time sensitive and responsive than an average human’s, thanks to his abilities. Hearing that needy undertone as Peter uttered his name like that was the last push he needed, it seemed.

His next trust was longer and harder, making them both moan. This kid… he was driving him crazy with his comments and tight and hot young body into which he wanted to completely bury himself. So he did.

He slid his mouth down onto his neck to suck his love marks on the warm and slightly sweaty skin while his hips picked up the pace, rolling effortlessly in that hot ass. “You are so fucking tight… I love it,” he groaned into Peter’s neck, snapping his hips faster and harder forward, making sure to rub against all the pleasure spots in the beautiful boy.

This was what he wanted for so long but denied even in front of himself. And it was so damn good. So intense. So wrong and at the same time so fucking right. Like it was supposed to happen. And now it was finally happening, pushing them both higher and higher in their ecstasy.

Their limbs tangled, their moans were getting more frequent and louder. Their bodies were moving in perfect sync, the wet slapping so damn exciting to their ears. Tony slid his hand between Peter’s thighs to wrap around that beautiful bobbing cock, because this was just too much for him. He’s been holding back for so long! He needed to come soon or else he feared his cock would fall off. That nearly made him chuckle, but instead he groaned with Peter, who was rocking back and forth, impaling himself on his dick and also fucking his wet palm.

“So close… Sir…” he heard the whimper in-between the panting and moaning, the boy’s ass starting to tighten even more around him as he kept fucking deep into him.

“Me too, my boy… Come on… give me your pleasure and take me with you. Let me fill up this gorgeous ass… You want that, don’t you?” he panted hotly into Peter’s cute ear, chewing on the lobe.

Both the words and that made Peter shiver and tremble hard, his cock throbbing and his ass threatening to choke the pounding dick in him. It felt so good! So intense! So perfect!

“YES!” he groaned shamelessly bucking his lips at the brink of falling over the edge. “Bite me, please! Sir! Please!” he begged completely fallen apart.

And who was Tony to deny that from him?

The second he dug his teeth into the crook of his neck, Peter came hard with a loud yell, his young body bucking uncontrollably, cum squirting all over Tony’s hand and the sheet, ass dancing maddeningly around the hard cock. Then he heard a wrecked yell and felt it… Mr. Stark was coming too, bathing his pulsing walls with his seed and that only pushed Peter deeper into his blinding orgasm, making him choke on a sob.

 _Finally_ he was Mr. Stark’s and Tony was his!


End file.
